


Steel Lined Bones

by TheBadIdeaBears



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types, Ouran High School Host Club - All Media Types
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Accidental Voyeurism, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Blackmail, Coercion, Dubious Consent, Fight Club - Freeform, M/M, Non-Consensual Bondage, Non-Consensual Rimming, Non-consensual choking, Pining, Possessive Behavior, Rape/Non-con Elements, Self-Destruction, Sexual Coercion, Violence, evil Kyouya, non-consensual master/slave dynamic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-01
Updated: 2017-06-17
Packaged: 2018-11-07 21:01:55
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 17
Words: 41,212
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11067078
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheBadIdeaBears/pseuds/TheBadIdeaBears
Summary: After pining after Tamaki for so long, Kaoru turns to Kyouya for comfort. When that turns out to be a bad idea, he turns to more self-destructive coping methods. Maybe Ed can help pick up the pieces?





	1. Prologue

Alphonse,

I'm sorry for running off before I got the chance to talk to you properly but I really couldn't stay. I don't know how much Edward told you about my situation if anything and I know I have always been particularly tight lipped on the subject. Probably, now more than ever, the less you know the better.

I am writing because I just wanted to thank you for everything you have done for me. You, Envy, Mustang, Hughes and Edward changed my life in more ways than I could possibly have imagined, especially Edward, and for that I will be eternally grateful.

Please don't think that I don't care or that I don't value your friendship or that what you have done for me has any less meaning by me telling you that I have to leave and go back, because it doesn't. I just can't bare the thought of anyone else getting hurt because of me. I guess you could say I care to much... either than or I'm just a coward. I'm not sure...

I could fill pages and pages of reasons why I'm going back and why I think it would be best for all of you if I just stayed away from you but I feel I would just be repeating myself. All I want to say for now is, once again, I'm sorry for everything that happened and how things turned out. I'm not sorry that I met you but I wish it had been under different circumstances. I wish it had been earlier because then, maybe, I could have been happy and could have stayed with you all. Please don't come looking for me, I've already caused you enough pain and trouble. Just know that I am so grateful to have met you and I will never forget what you have done for me.

I wish you all the happiness that life may bring you because you deserve it. All my love, thoughts and memories,

Kaoru

 


	2. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, Holly here. Just as a warning, this chapter starts bad and gets worse. Enjoy. I'm sorry.

I have always accepted the fact that finding love and having that love be reciprocated, for me, was never going to be easy. Even in this day and age being homosexual is no picnic. Every potentially romantic encounter is a mine field of bromances, man-crushes, dude-bros and 'no homo'. It isn't fun. It isn't fun falling in love with someone you know is never going to love you back, no matter what you do.

It's hard enough falling in love with someone who will never love you back because they just aren't attracted to people of the same gender but when you find yourself in the horrific position of helping them with their love life it is the worst kind of torture. This is pretty much the state I have been in since my first year of High School – actively helping the man I love pursue a girl. She also happens to be one of the nicest, most genuine girls I have ever met so maybe that makes it a bit easier but not by a whole lot.

Lord knows I tried to keep my attraction to Tamaki a secret. It was impossible to keep it hidden from Hikaru – he knows me too well to know when I'm lying to him – but I did a good job of keeping it hidden from everyone else. Especially Tamaki and Haruhi. I was determined to keep it from Tamaki and Haruhi for no other reason than I couldn't face him rejecting me. He rejected me every single day of my life (without knowing, of course) I really didn't need to hear him say the actual words too.

Then one day I slipped up and I slipped up badly.

We were staying at the summer house of another of our group of friends about a year after I had finished High School and had spent most of the day at the beach. Seeing Tamaki in nothing but swimming shorts all day had put a strain on my mental stability but when I walked in on him in the shower my resolve just snapped. The idiot had forgotten to lock the door and I had just stood there, unable to move, think or react, staring at the absolute god – my living fantasy – that was Tamaki Suoh naked and wet.

It was at that moment, however, that he chose to turn around and saw me standing there, red faced and slack jawed. He spluttered, asking me what I was doing, I spluttered out an explanation (there was a lot of spluttering) and I desperately tried to keep my eyes on his face. I knew that if I looked down at his chest my gaze would go further and then I would be gone completely. I tried but I failed miserably. My eyes flicked down and as soon as I saw the taught skin of his stomach leading down further, my face caught fire. I mumbled an apology and ran out of the room as fast as I could.

I ran into the first empty room I could find and slumped against the door panting heavily. I placed my head in my hands and tried to get myself to calm down. I was losing it so badly and every time I closed my eyes all I could see was Tamaki in front of me, wet and naked, like the image had been burned into my eyes. Trying to get him out of my head wasn't working in the slightest and I felt myself getting hard.

I bit my lip as a sudden thought took hold of me. I couldn't... I shouldn't... but before I knew it I had slipped my hand into my boxers. I was alone in the room, I was hard and I needed to do something to get the image of Tamaki out of my head. I closed my eyes, leaning my head back against the door and allowed myself to indulge in the fantasy with the new material I had just been given. I managed to keep myself quiet as I jerked myself closer and closer to completion but just as I reached the end a soft moan of Tamaki's name escaped my lips as I came, hard, into my boxers as there was nothing else to hand.

I composed myself, waited for my heart to stop pounding and to catch my breath. Once I felt less light headed from my orgasm I stripped off my boxers, balled them up and stuffed them into the pocket of my shorts. I planned to go back to my room and throw them in the wash before the fact that I wasn't wearing underwear was likely to cause a problem. I turned and was about to leave when the lights in the room suddenly snapped on and I felt my heart stop.

“If you're going to masturbate in a room without checking to see if it's empty or not the least you could do is put on a show just in case.”

I slowly turned to see Kyouya sitting in an arm chair, resting his chin on his hand, smirking at me. Fuck! The smirk did not mean anything good, especially as he had just witnessed me randomly jerking off and moaning Tamaki's name as I came. My mouth was dry and I tried to swallow, desperately thinking of something to say that would in any way defend myself. My brain seemed to have stopped running because I was coming up empty. I cleared my throat.

“How...” I began, my voice hoarse.

“Much did I see?” he offered. “Long have I been here?”

“Either,” I replied. I could feel my ears heating up. I felt like I was going to be sick and I wanted to run away, putting as much distance between myself and Kyouya as possible. Is it possible to die of embarrassment? Because at that moment I wanted to.

“Oh I saw everything,” he said, that smirk never leaving his face. “I must admit I never thought you'd have the balls to indulge in your little attraction anywhere there was a chance you would be caught.” I opened my mouth to say something to defend myself again but his words caught me off guard.

“How did you know?” I asked. There was no point in pretending; he obviously knew and he had just caught me masturbating over Tamaki. I wasn't going to insult either of our intelligences by lying. I instantly began listing all the ways he could have found out. Did Hikaru tell him? No he wouldn't do that to me. Kyouya chuckled softly.

“It's a very good thing, for you, that Tamaki is as oblivious as he is,” he said. “The way you look at him screams that you want him.”

“Oh...” I said softly. There was nothing else for me too say. I wondered how many other people had picked up on this too if I was as obvious as Kyouya said I was.

“Tell you what,” he said suddenly, getting to his feet and walking slowly towards me, a slight sway in his hips. “Seeing as I'm feeling particularly gracious at the moment I'll make you a deal. Either I walk away, pretend I never saw anything and you can carry on lusting after Tamaki on your own, or you can trust me and I can give you a helping hand.”

“How?” I asked looking up at him as he leaned forward against the door, trapping me between his body and the ward wood behind me. “Tamaki's totally in love with Haruhi. How do plan to get him to notice me instead?”

“You let me worry about that,” Kyouya said smirking down at me. “For now why don't you go and think on it then come up to my room when the others have gone to sleep and give me your answer.” What he wanted in return for this deal, whichever option I chose, was heavily implied with his tone. He wanted sex and he wasn't giving me much of an opportunity to say no.

“And if my answer is no?” I asked. Kyouya leaned forward so that I could feel his breath on my ear. I shivered.

“Well you'll have to come and see me later,” he whispered. I felt him slip his hand into the pocket of my shorts and pull my boxers out. He held them up in front of my face. “To get these back.” And there was his leverage. I didn't want to think what he'd do with them if I didn't show up later. I nodded. He smirked and softly kissed me on the cheek. “See you later.”

With that he left and all I could do was lean back against the door, place my hand over my rapidly beating heart and try to process what had just happened.

 

I knocked softly on Kyouya's bedroom door once everyone had gone to sleep. My stomach was churning and there was a good chance that I was going to be sick. I took a deep breath to try and settle it. I wanted to turn tail and run but I didn't have time before the door opened to reveal Kyouya leaning against the door frame and smirking down at me. He reached over to cup my cheek and run his thumb over my bottom lip, his eye zeroing in on my mouth. I swallowed and I'm pretty sure I was trembling as I looked up into his eyes.

“Nice of you to show up,” he said softly. “Why don't you come inside?” I nodded and followed him into the room. It was lit by a single lamp next to the bed and the duvet had been pulled right back. There was also a blindfold and a pair of handcuffs on the bedside table making it even more obvious what he wanted from me. Suddenly I was overcome by fear and needed to get out of there as quickly as possible.

“Actually,” I said turning to leave, “I think I made a mistake, I should go...” Kyouya pushed the door closed, blocking my escape route. I swallowed, there was still a very good chance that I was going to be sick. He slipped his arm around my waist in a gesture that was supposed to be comforting but just made me feel worse.

“There's no hurry,” he said using his other hand to brush my fringe out of my eyes. I failed to suppress the shiver that ran through me. “Why don't we sit down and talk. You tell me what you want and I'll tell you what I want. How does that sound?”

“That sounds okay,” I replied. Okay so maybe if I didn't want to take any part in this deal then I could just walk away and that would be the end of it. He guided me over to two chairs and a small table by the window and sat me in one of them.

“Drink?” he asked gesturing to a bottle of what looked like whiskey on the table.

“Um... no thank you,” I said. I wanted to stay sober and clear headed tonight because if I knew Kyouya then he would use the fact that I was incapacitated to take advantage in any deal he might try to make with me.

“Suit yourself,” he said and poured himself a dram. He took a sip, his eyes never leaving mine as he stared at me over the rim of the glass. I was too nervous to move, say anything or do anything. All I could do was watch as he put the glass back down on the table and leaned back in the chair, linking his fingers in front of his face. “So Kaoru, how long have you known Tamaki?” I blinked at him. I hadn't expected that.

“Um I guess four years, eight month, three days and, what, maybe six hours?” I offered. I hadn't thought about it and it seemed a strange question for him to ask.

“And how long has your little fascination with him been going on?” he asked. Now that was a much less strange question and one that was much easier to answer.

“Four years, eight months, three days and five hours and fifteen minutes,” I said. Kyouya smirked and let out a soft chuckle.

“I thought as much,” he said. “So what would you like to do about it?” I blanched. What would I like to do about it? I was never going to be able to be with Tamaki – he was so in love with Haruhi and he was as straight as an arrow. Also I didn't want to mess up what he and Haruhi had because they seemed like they could be really happy if they got their acts together. The problem was that I had to stop myself from falling apart almost every time I saw him. What would I like to do about this?

“I suppose what I want is something to take my mind off him,” I said. “He's in love with someone else and I don't want to mess that up so I want to be able to get over him.” A smirk spread across his lips and I instantly wished I could take those words back.

“Well,” he said picking up the glass again and taking another sip of whisky, “that is certainly doable.”

“Really?” I asked eager to pounce on something that might make life easier but I shouldn't have been quite so eager as Kyouya put down his glass and got to his feet. He came to stand over me and ran his thumb over my bottom lip again.

“If you're willing,” he said softly, his eyes never leaving my lips. “I can provide the distraction you desire.” I stared up into his eyes and I actually felt heat stirring between my thighs. Kyouya was very attractive, it was no use denying that, and whenever he touched me it felt like my skin was on fire especially now that I no longer seemed to be thinking about running away. Maybe this might be a good idea... I couldn't tell anymore. Kyouya had gotten inside my head and he was making me think that this was a good idea. I wasn't sure if it was my idea or he had put the idea into my head but it was making my brain shut down.

“Okay,” I said, my voice barely above a whisper.

“Good.” he said softly. He leaned down and gently pressed his lips to mine in the faintest of kisses. “Shall we move this over to the bed then?” He took my hand and pulled me to my feet. I instantly felt shy; this was actually going to happened and I was suddenly nervous again. I hesitated, biting my lip.

“Now?” I asked. He gazed down at we with lust filled eyes, smirking. He ran his fingers through my hair as he ran a finger of his other hand up the bottom of my spine and I couldn't stop the soft moan that left my throat. Fuck! Even without having had anything to drink I was already not thinking clearly enough to make a sensible decision. He leaned down so that his lips were mere centimetres from mine. I could feel his breath against my lips and I couldn't stop the involuntary shudder.

“Your body certainly wants to,” he said softly. He was right. Without even noticing it my hands had already reached up to grasp hold of the front of his shirt, clinging to him to keep myself standing. I was panting, my mind was foggy and I was already hard. The hand that had been in my hair moved down to tilt my chin upwards. “What would you like me to do?” I looked into his lust filled eyes and felt whatever resolve I had left break.

“Fuck me.” The word came out more as a whisper but my voice didn't break so I was rather proud of myself.

Kyouya leaned down and pressed his lips to mine. I was so tense and on edge that I was already a moaning mess; parting my lips and allowing him to slip his tongue into my mouth. His hand cupped the back of my head, deepening the kiss, as I pressed myself up against his body. With my eyes closed I could almost forget that it was Kyouya kissing me (although that was a very bad path to be going down). I had to stay grounded enough to remember that it was Kyouya, but as his lips move down to my neck I found myself getting lost in the sensation.

As he kissed me, his teeth nipping at my neck and making me weak, Kyouya began to walk me back over to the bed. My knees hit the edge of the mattress and he pushed me down onto it. I looked up at him, wide eyed, as he smirked at me. He picked up the blindfold, running it through his fingers hypnotically. My eyes were glued to his fingers, playing with the material, and my cock twitched as I thought about those fingers playing over my body.

He stopped running the blindfold through his fingers and began to slowly undo the buttons on his shirt, keeping his eyes fixed on my face. I couldn't stop my mouth from falling open as he revealed his chest to me. I had seen Kyouya without a shirt on before but now, when I knew that it was actually going to go somewhere, it was affecting me more that I could have imagined. He let his shirt fall to the floor once it was open. I swallowed and he chuckled, leaning over and taking hold of my bottom lip.

“See something you like?” he asked before gently kissing me. I nodded, not trusting myself to speak. He smirked, reaching down to the hem of my t-shirt before pulling it off. Once he had it off he tossed it over his shoulder and looked me up and down, appraising me. I suddenly felt very self conscious and I wilted under his gaze. He leaned over and tied the blindfold around my eyes and took a step back once he was done, leaving me sitting on the edge of the mattress.

I reached out a hand trying to find him, when he made no move to touch me again. I heard a soft chuckle and I knew he was close by. I got to my feet, taking a few tentative steps forward with both of my hands reaching out to try and find him. I knew he was trying to tease me, he was trying to make me beg for him and I was already at the point where I was ready to beg. My cock was hard and begging to be touched and my desire for him had shown too much.

I took another step forward, finding myself still reaching out into empty air, when suddenly my wrists were seized and pinned behind my back. A hand was at my throat, squeezing lightly, as Kyouya pressed himself up against me. I could feel his hard cock pressing against my lower back and I bit my lip to stop myself from moaning. I felt hot breath hitting my ear before Kyouya nipped my earlobe lightly.

“Kyouya...” I gasped. He moaned into my ear, his voice much higher than usual.

“Kaoru,” he whispered, making his voice sound like Tamaki's and I froze. I struggled slightly. No! I couldn't handle this if he was going to do that to me. His hand tightened against my throat and I stopped struggling. “Don't fight it,” he whispered.

“Kyouya...” I gasped again. The hand that had been around my throat ran down my chest, his fingertips ghosting over my skin, till he reached the top of my trousers. He popped the button open, undid the zip and had his hand inside my boxers, slowly stroking my cock, before I could even think. My knees buckled.

“Just enjoy it,” he said in Tamaki's voice again before switching back to his own. “Imagine you're with Tamaki.”

I couldn't... could I? I shouldn't, this was a really bad door to open but as Kyouya began to stroke my cock faster I couldn't help myself from being lost in the sensation. I mean I'm not the first person to ever think about having sex with someone other than the person they're actually having sex with, right? With my eyes covered I really could pretend that it was Tamaki's hand in my boxers and his erection pressed up against me. I was losing myself in the sensations of his hand, my gut tightened and I could feel myself getting closer and closer to the end.

Then all of a sudden the hand was gone and a chocked sob left my throat. I could barely think, the need to just have that final push and I would feel oblivion was too strong, as I was shoved back onto the bed. Before I could centre myself and do something to relieve some of the pressure in my groin Kyouya grabbed my hands and handcuffed my wrists together, shoved me onto my stomach and pinned my wrists above my head. Another gasp of frustration ripped out of my throat as my cock was sandwiched between my body and the mattress. I was almost too far gone to notice as he yanked both my trousers and my boxers off, leaving me naked and exposed. He ran a fingertip down my spine and I couldn't stop myself from whimpering.

“Please...” I begged. I didn't know what for. I didn't know whether I wanted him to stop or I wanted him to fuck me, all I knew was that I wanted... no I needed him to stop torturing me and let me cum.

“On your knees,” he commanded. With as much dignity as I could with my hands cuffed together I managed to crawl into the centre of the mattress, positioning myself on my knees. I felt the mattress dip as he came and sat behind me. He reached up to grasp my backside, gently squeezing it, and I felt my knees buckle slightly. I parted my legs more, unable to stop myself, and giving him a better view. He began placing soft butterfly kisses at the base of my spine. “That's it, spread yourself open for me.”

He grasped my backside with both hands and spread me open even more. I could feel myself trembling, I wasn't sure how long my arms were going to keep me up. I wanted to feel his fingers start opening me up but I jumped as I felt his tongue pressing up against my ass-hole. I tried to shrink away but his grip on my hips kept me in place. It was the weirdest feeling in the world – it was uncomfortable, but only because his face was that close to my ass but the way his tongue swirled and flicked over me had me fisting the sheets and burying my teeth into my bottom lip to stop myself from crying out and waking everyone.

I was faintly aware of the sound of gel being squirted out of a tube before I felt Kyouya's finger slide inside me. I clutched the sheets, my arms shaking as a new pleasure washed over me. Oh god! My mind was fogging over as he added another finger. I couldn't stop the moans escaping from my throat but I could at least try to keep them quiet. With his fingers pumping in and out of me I found myself pushing myself back onto both them and his face, desperate to get more of that sensation.

“Kyouya please,” I begged as he added a third finger. He pulled away and I whined in protest. I heard him chuckle along with another squirt of gel then I felt him pressing his body up against mine. I felt the tip of his cock press into me and I squirmed, trying to push myself back onto him, desperate to feel him inside me. One of his hands grasped me by the throat and I stopped squirming as he squeezed tightly, My eyes rolled back as he cut off my breath, taking my earlobe and biting down on it.

“Are you ready for this?” he asked, his voice rolling down my spine and making me tremble. I couldn't speak, with his hand at my throat all I could do was concentrate on trying to breath, so I nodded. “Good.”

With no other warning he thrust inside me, burying himself to the hilt. I opened my mouth in a silent scream, sweat pricking the back of my neck, the feeling of being filled and the burn of the stretch was almost too much for me. The hand around my throat left to cover my mouth as he began to thrust, in and out, at a furious pace. I couldn't stop the moans but now his hand was muffling them I could let go. His other hand reached down to pump my cock in time with his thrusts. I writhed around him, the sensations were too much for me, especially with my eyes covered and my hands unable to move.

“Kyouya!” I cried through his hand.

“Kaoru,” he moaned softly, making his voice sound like Tamaki's. “You feel so good, you're amazing!”

Something inside me snapped. I couldn't stop myself – now I was imagining that it was Tamaki buried inside me, bringing me closer to the edge. I knew I shouldn't but I didn't care; indulging in the fantasy was as close as I was ever going to get to the real thing and Kyouya was doing everything he could to make sure I would be thinking of Tamaki. Just imagining that it was Tamaki's hands on me, Tamaki thrusting deeper into me, Tamaki whispering sweet nothings into my ear was bringing me so close to the edge I thought I was going to die.

“Oh god!” I cried against Kyouya's hand as his cock began ramming into my prostate and I couldn't hold back anymore. I was teetering on the edge, just needing that one last push before oblivion. I felt Kyouya's breath hit my ear again.

“I love you,” he whispered in Tamaki's voice and my entire body froze as I came. I felt Kyouya stiffen behind me and then warmth spreading through my insides as he reached his own climax.

I just about managed to support myself as Kyouya untied the blindfold, letting it fall to the mattress. He pulled out of me and I collapsed, my arms no longer willing to hold me up and, apparently, neither was he. He reached over and undid the handcuffs. I rubbed my wrists to get some of the feeling back, still letting what had just happened sink in. He ruffled my hair before getting to his feet and dressing himself. I waited until he had finished and left the room before burying my face in my hands and sobbing.

What have I just done?

 


	3. Chapter 2

Ever since that night at the beach house I kept going back to Kyouya again and again. Whenever I couldn't get Tamaki out of my head, whenever I needed a break from my life and whenever I saw Tamaki and realised that I still wasn't over him I would go back to Kyouya. We would fuck and afterwards I would feel awful about the whole thing. Even when we had sex I would sometimes sill think of Tamaki, although usually that was because Kyouya would encourage me to. It really wasn't helping me to get over him.

Occasionally I would wonder if I would ever get over Tamaki at this rate. With him being so nice to me and Kyouya whispering things like 'I love you' in his voice while we fucked. It was unlikely that I ever would. That wasn't an ideal situation but at least no one knew the extent of my relationship with Kyouya.

Hikaru suspected something, especially as there were nights when I wouldn't come home until the early hours. He would ask me but his questions were easy to deflect. I didn't want to tell him that I was having sex with Kyouya to get over Tamaki as I was bound to get a lecture from him and I felt bad enough about the whole situation as it was. I had no idea how to proceed with this and I thought about it all the time when I wasn't with Kyouya. I couldn't work out what I wanted to do until one night at an Ouran reunion.

It had been an awkward evening for me. I was on my guard the whole time trying my hardest not to stare too much at either Tamaki or Kyouya. I thought I had managed it pretty well even though it was turning out to be one of the most stressful evenings of my life. I was sitting on my own, taking some time to collect my thoughts, when someone came and sat down next to me. I looked round and saw Haruhi smiling at me, I gave her a small smile in return.

“How are you doing?” she asked. “Having a good night?”

“Yeah,” I replied. “It's nice to see everyone again. You having a good night?”

“Yeah,” she said. “It's strange being back, especially as most people are surprised to see I have breasts.”

“That would do it,” I chuckled.

“So what about you?” she asked. “What are you doing sitting over here all by yourself?” Shit! I knew she would pick up on something like that. Haruhi is way too perspective not to notice me sitting along.

“Just taking a break,” I told her. It wasn't a totally lie – I was taking a break just not from the group of Host Club fangirls that had been fawning over us all night. I was amazed that there were still so many, but at the same time I wasn't surprised.

“Okay,” she said. “I assumed it was something to do with Kyouya.” I looked at her in surprise.

“What?” She couldn't know, could she? I had thought I was doing okay. Did she know that Kyouya and I were sleeping together? Did she know that I was only sleeping with him to get over someone else? Or worse did she know that I was in love with Tamaki?

“Kaoru, it's alright,” she said. “I've seen the way you've been looking at him all night, like you want to say something but you don't know what?” I froze, I couldn't work out who she was talking about. Did she mean Tamaki or Kyouya? I had thought that I had managed to not stare but maybe I was more obvious that I thought. Damn it I really was bad at this!

“I just can't find the right words,” I said. Ambiguous statements and hedging were my friend right now, al least until I had found out which one of them she meant.

“You need to pluck up the courage and talk to him,” she told me. “If you tell him how you feel about him then, I'm sure he'll return your feelings. For what it's worth, I think the two of you would make a very adorable couple.”

“Really?” I'm pretty sure she's not talking about Tamaki now.

“Definitely,” she replied. “The way Kyouya has been looking at you, I know that he feels the same way about you.” My heart sank. Of course she was talking about Kyouya. There was no way that she was going to be talking about Tamaki – he only had eyes for her. I swallowed the lump in my throat and let out a shaking breath.

“I should probably go and talk to him,” I said and I was thankful that my voice didn't break as I spoke. I didn't want her to know just how close to breaking because of her I was when she was just trying to help me.

“You'll never know until you try,” she said. “That's what happened with me and Tamaki.”

“Okay,” I replied. That stung. That stung a lot.

“Hey Kaoru, can I tell you something?”

“Sure,” I said. Whatever she wanted to tell me couldn't make me feel any worse than I already did right now.

“I think Tamaki might ask me to marry him,” she told me. “I caught him looking at engagement rings the other night.” And just like that everything came to a juddering halt and I tried not to just break there and then.

“Congratulations,” I said, just about managing to smile. “I'm so happy for you.”

“Well,” she giggled, “he hasn't asked me yet, so we'll give it a little while before we start celebrating.”

“Of course,” I said and I was at least happy to note that I sounded like I wasn't dying. Haruhi looked out at the rest of the crowded room and got to her feet.

“I'm going to see if I can find him,” she said. “You should go and find Kyouya and tell him how you feel about him, I'm sure he feels the same about you.”

“I will,” I told her. She smiled at me and left. I got to my feet and left, intending to find somewhere I could hide out and maybe make my escape. I left the crowded hall and as I turned a corner I bumped into Hikaru looking a little dishevelled. His hair was a mess, his tie was no longer straight and there was a very faint line of lipstick on his collar.

“Hey,” he said, hurriedly flattening his hair. “How's it going?”

“Not too bad,” I said grinning at him. “You look like you're having a good night.” I gave his collar a little shake and he flushed, rubbing the back of his neck in embarrassment. He let out a nervous chuckle.

“Yeah well...” he said. He cleared his throat. “Listen I'm probably not going to be home till tomorrow so don't wait around for me if you want to go. I mean I know it's difficult you being here with... um...” he tailed off, not wanting to say it out loud in case we weren't alone. I knew what he was going to say so it didn't matter. I just waved him off and smiled.

“It's fine,” I told him. “You go have fun, I'm probably going to head home soon anyway, I'm getting kind of tired.” Hikaru gave me a look that was filled with pity and I smiled at him, hoping that he wouldn't see through the act. He placed his hand on my shoulder and gave it a small squeeze.

“I'll see you tomorrow, yeah?” he asked. I nodded and gave him a shove in the direction he had come.

“You go have a good night,” I told him. “Don't worry about me.” Before he had a chance to protest I left, continuing down the corridor to get myself further away from the crowds of the hall. I turned another corridor and found myself alone. I leaned my forehead against the wall and closed my eyes, clenching my fists by my sides to try to keep myself from breaking down completely and just sobbing. I wanted the ground to open up and swallow me and I wanted to leave as soon as I felt like I could stand on my own. An arm snaked around my waist.

“Hello Sunshine,” Kyouya purred in my ear. I had been so lost in my own thoughts I hadn't noticed him approach until he was right behind me. I gasped softly as he reached down to grab my crotch. “How come you're sneaking off on your own?”

“I...” Whatever I had been about to say died in my throat as Kyouya began to slowly stroke me till I was half hard.

“Or were you hoping that I'd come and find you?” he whispered in my ear, his breath hot on my skin. “I never realised you were such an exhibitionist Kaoru.”

“Kyouya,” I said my voice barely above a whisper. I needed to pluck up the courage to say this now or I never would. I opened my mouth. It's not that hard, damn it, just say the words. “I don't think we should keep doing this.”

“What?” he asked, his hands stopping but not retracting.

“I don't think we should keep sleeping together,” I said again.

“Oh really?” he asked. He removed his hands and I turned to face him. His expression was unreadable as he surveyed me and I could feel myself trembling slightly. “And what has brought this on?”

“I...” I could barely keep my voice steady. God, I'm such a coward! “I don't think I can do it any more. I'm sorry... I... I really am. I'm just not in love with you and it feels, I don't know, wrong. I'm sorry.” He gave me a wry smile.

“Well if that's the way you feel then that's the way you feel,” he said.

“Really?” I asked. I was confused, I had expected him to have had more to say considering how all this had started in the first place.

“If you don't want to continue sleeping together then I'm not going to force you,” he said.

“So we should just go back to being friends?” I asked.

“If that is what you want,” he said. I let out the breath I didn't realise I had been holding. I was relieved. I had expected... I don't know what I had expected, I had just expected it to be harder than that. I nodded.

“Okay,” I said. “I think I'm probably going to take off now as I could really do with some sleep.”

“The fangirls certainly are tiring,” he chuckled.

“I'll see you around.” I held out my hand and he took it, shaking it.

“I'll see you around,” he replied.

 

I didn't stay much longer after I ended things with Kyouya. I didn't want to stay much longer the evening had taken a lot out of me. I was relieved when I finally got home. I threw my keys onto the table in the hall. It was times like this that I was glad Hikaru and I had moved out into our own place. Right now I just wanted to be alone and if I had been at our parents I would have had to deal with questions from the servants and maybe even from my mother or father. At least here I could sit in the dark, maybe stick the television on and fall asleep on the sofa.

I shrugged out of my coat and kicked off my shoes. I toyed with the idea of pouring myself a very strong drink (or maybe just going through the entire bottle) but thought better of it. If Haruhi was right and Tamaki was going to ask her to marry him then I was going to feel bad enough as it was in the morning without adding horrifically hungover to that as well. I went into the living room, intending to switch the television on so I could drown out my thoughts with mindless noise, but stopped short as I entered.

Standing over by the window, with his back to me, was a figure. How the hell did he get in here? He didn't seem to have noticed that I had gotten home but he also didn't seem to be robbing the place so he must have been waiting for me. I looked around for something I could use as a weapon if I needed to but found nothing. I reaching into my pocket and grabbed my phone, readying myself to call the police, as I flicked on the light switch. It was then that I recognised the person standing in front of me.

“Tamaki?” The figure turned to face me as I switched the light on and I almost fell back against the wall in surprise. He smiled at me. “Wh... what are you doing here?”

“I didn't really get to see you that much tonight,” he said making his way over to me.

“How did you get in?” I asked.

“Does it matter?” he asked as he reached me. “I'm here now.”

“I guess it doesn't,” I replied. I could feel my heart hammering in my chest. Tamaki was in my living room, we were alone and there was no chance of us being interrupted. I was really going to have to keep both what I said and what I did in check.

“I've missed you,” he said softly. “It feels like you've been avoiding me recently.” I looked down and I could fee my face heating up. It had never occurred to me that Tamaki would see it that way. I hadn't even thought he would have noticed.

“I'm sorry,” I muttered. I felt a hand under my chin and Tamaki tilted my face up so I was forced to look at him. He smiled down at me and with his other hand brushed my fringe out of my eyes.

“It's okay,” he said softly. “You're not avoiding me now.”

“Tamaki,” I breathed as his face inched closer to mine.

“Kaoru,” His breath hit my lips and I closed my eyes. There was every chance that I was dreaming and that the illusion would be shattered. The hand that had been under my chin reached round to cup the back of my head. My mind had juddered to a halt. Why was he doing this? What about Haruhi? This made no sense but as he softly brushed his lips against mine I couldn't even begin to care.

My hands, which had been hanging uselessly by my side, reached up to tangle in his hair as he deepened the kiss. He nipped my bottom lip and I moaned softly into his mouth. His tongue slipped passed my open lips and began to massage against mine. It felt so good! Every single fantasy I had ever had seemed to be coming true as Tamaki gently backed me against the wall, pinning my to it. He moved his lips down to my neck.

“Tamaki!” I gasped clinging to him as he kissed my pulse point. A deep chuckle sounded in his throat, one that I recognised only too well. “Kyouya?”

“Surprise,” he said in his usual voice.

“What the fuck?” I struggled as his hold on me tightened. “What are you doing?”

“Proving a point,” he purred and began kissing my neck again.

“Kyouya, I told you I can't do this anymore,” I told him turning my face away, unwittingly offering him more of my neck to kiss and nip.

“You started this little game because you couldn't get over Tamaki,” he said softly, nipping my earlobe. “This just proves that you're still not over him.”

“I... I'm dealing with it,” I stammered. He wasn't wrong I wasn't over Tamaki and he was right, this little stunt of his only proved that. He chuckled darkly and a shiver ran up my spine. This was not going to go well for me.

“You can delude yourself as much as you like Kaoru but we both know that you're still in love with him. You still need me as that distraction, don't you?”

“N... no,” I stammered as he spun me round to face the wall, pinning my hands above my head with one hand while the other crept underneath my shirt to trace circles with his fingertips just above the top of my jeans.

“I'm going to ask you that question one more time and think very carefully about your answer,” he purred. God his voice! No matter how much I knew I shouldn't do this Kyouya knew exactly what to do to make my knees weak and make me hard. “You need me as a distraction, don't you?”

“N... no!” I tired but I couldn't make my voice sound strong and like I was telling him 'no' but no matter what I did it came out feeble and trembling. He roughly grabbed my crotch and I let out a moan, my head falling forward against the wall.

“Don't lie to me, Kaoru,” he said, his voice dangerous. “If you lie to me again then I will make things very, very hard for you.” He punctuated the word 'hard' with another squeeze that tore a moan from my throat. “Now what do you need?”

“You,” I gasped. He chuckled softly.

“Good answer,” he said. He reached up to undo the button on my jeans. I squirmed as he slid the zip down and slipped his hand into both my jeans and my boxers to grasp my cock. I opened my mouth and moaned as he began stroking it. I fisted my hands, pushing them into the wall to keep some kind of balance, keeping them in place. I didn't even notice that he'd let go of my wrists until two of his fingers pushed past my open lips. I sucked them, moaning around his fingers and relishing the soft groan in my ear.

As I continued to suck his fingers he began to push both my jeans and boxers down. The sudden cold air against my skin made me moan again and I felt him fumbling around with his own buttons and zip. He pulled his fingers out of my mouth, tracing a sticky line down my neck before reaching down to trace along the base of my spine.

“Wait!” I was pretty fucked up but I wasn't so far gone that I was about to let him take me dry. “Do you have any lube?” He chuckled softly.

“I do,” he replied. That was certainly a thought; that he had brought lubricant just in case something like this would happen. Am I really that easy when it comes to him? Maybe I'm over thinking this and he's just prepared just in case. He leaned close to my ear. “Keep your hands on the wall, do you understand?”

“Yes,” I replied. I was rewarded for my trouble by a sharp yank to my hair. I hissed, my scalp stinging.

“Yes what?” he growled. I exhaled, breathing through the pain.

“Yes sir,” I said. Not that he had ever given me the option to not be but I had become much more submissive since Kyouya and I had started this odd little relationship.

“Well done,” he said. He gave my neck a harsh bite before I heard him begin to fumble for the lubricant. The anticipation was killing me and I almost wanted to tell him to hurry up but I knew that would probably get me a hard slap on the ass. I heard the unmistakable sound of gel being squirted out of tube.

Cold fingers slid inside me and I sunk my teeth into my bottom lip to hold in the moan as he pumped his fingers in and out, barely giving me the chance to adjust to the feeling. He added a third finger, stretching me open even more and before I realised what I was doing; I was thrusting myself back onto his fingers. He chuckled, purposefully keeping his thrusts shallow to keep me wanting more.

“Kyouya,” I panted, writhing on his fingers. “Please!”

“So desperate for me already,” he mused. “I've barely even started. Do you want to feel my cock instead?”

“Yes,” I moaned. He replied by pulling his fingers out of me and I heard more gel being squirted out of the tube. I wanted to turn and look at what he was doing but I knew that would also earn me a slap and I didn't think I could handle Kyouya still being dressed as Tamaki. I felt his cock starting to push inside me. I sunk my teeth into my bottom lip again as he began to shallowly thrust the tip in and out.

“Now,” he said softly. “What do you need?”

“You,” I panted. “I need you.” He chuckled.

“Good boy,” he said and buried himself to the hilt inside me. He began thrusting at a furious pace, making me moan and writhe. My clothes were sticking to me and I could feel myself coming undone. Whenever Kyouya fucked me he knew exactly what to do to make me fall apart in no time. He reached round and began to pump my cock in time with his thrusts. I clawed at the wall, trying to find purchase on something as he began to hit my prostate with each thrust.

“Kyouya!” I screamed. In the back of my mind I was glad that Hikaru wouldn't be home tonight. I didn't want to run the risk of him seeing me like this but after a particularly hard thrust I couldn't bring myself to care anymore.

“Cum for me,” he grunted as he thrust harder and deeper into me. Legs trembling with a silent scream ripping its way out of my throat I came into his hand. He stiffened inside me and I felt him reach his own end. He continued to thrust as he rode out his orgasm before he pulled out of me and straightened his clothes.

“Kyouya...” I began, turning to face him and redressing myself trying to ignore the feeling of his cum leaking out of me as I did.

“See you around,” he said. He ruffled my hair with his now clean hand and left. I waited until I had heard him close the door behind him before I sank to my knees and began to sob, feeling sick to my stomach with myself.

 


	4. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, it's Holly. I'm so sorry.

I ended up staying with Kyouya after that night. We became a proper couple, announcing it to the others, a few weeks later. Everyone was really happy for us (Hikaru less so but I think that was because he knew more about the whole situation that he was willing to let on). I moved in with Kyouya after we had officially been together for a month. Hikaru helped me move my things, he certainly wasn't happy about it but he didn't say anything.

After I moved in with Kyouya things seemed to become a lot more complicated. It was difficult for me to have people over as Kyouya was there more often than not and there were subjects that I didn't feel comfortable discussing in front of him. I also found that if I was out of the house for long periods of time in order to go and meet someone he would question me for ages about it afterwards. I slowly began to feel that it wasn't worth the hassle. I didn't really do a whole lot with my time so I had nothing to talk about so I figured that people wouldn't be interested in hearing about my life.

The only person I really still saw on a regular basis, about after a year or so, was Hikaru. He would come to mine sometimes and I would go over to see him others, splitting our time evenly, but after a while, he asked if we could just meet at his. I was fine with that and he didn't really offer me any explanation until I asked him about three weeks after we had started only hanging out at his place.

“Because I can't stand Kyouya,” he told me.

“Okay...”

“I'm sorry,” he sighed. “I know he's your boyfriend everything and I'm trying to be supportive of your relationship with him but I'm worried about you.”

“What do you mean?” I asked. “There's nothing to be worried about, I'm fine.” The words felt forced, even to me. I had gotten so used to saying that to people, Hikaru was the only one who never seemed to believe me. I mean Hikaru knows me better than anyone in the world so there was no way that he wasn't going to see through any lie I told him. He fixed me with a pointed look, raising an eyebrow at me.

“Kaoru this is me you're talking to,” he said. “You can't tell me that this relationship isn't really fucked up.”

“It's normal,” I replied, defensively. Hikaru snorted derisively.

“No it's not,” he said. “It's borderline abusive!”

“What?” I asked. “What do you mean? He doesn't hit me or do anything like that. It's fine, I promise.”

“Think about it though,” he said. “He's got a fucking car waiting outside for you wherever you go! He keeps tabs on what you're doing, he hardly ever lets you go out and he's stopped you seeing your friends.”

“He didn't stop me seeing my friends,” I said.

“Bullshit!” he said. “When was the last time you saw anyone who wasn't me or Kyouya or one of his servants?”

“Um...” I said quietly. “I can't remember.”

“This is what I mean,” he said. “You've stopped seeing anyone who isn't me or Kyouya and how long do you think it will be before he tries to stop you seeing me?”

“That's not going to happen,” I told him. He was so wrong about this. Yes I had stopped going out and seeing people but that was my choice – Kyouya had nothing to do with it. I had stopped going out because I thought I didn't have anything interesting to say to people and they would get bored of my after a while. I didn't want to talk about this anymore, I couldn't think about it. “Can we just drop it alright?”

“Okay,” he said. He seemed surprised by my sudden outburst but he also seemed like he wasn't going to press the subject any further, for the time being at least.

“Thank you,” I said. I really didn't want Hikaru to press the issue any further. I knew he was just looking out for me but he could tell what I wasn't willing to admit to myself; that I wasn't happy with Kyouya. It wasn't as if I still wanted Tamaki – I had drop all delusions that Tamaki and I were ever going to be anything more when I realised that he was in love with Haruhi – but I wasn't happy with Kyouya.

I reached forward to grab the glass I had left on the coffee table. As I did the sleeve of my jumper rode up. I thought nothing of it until Hikaru grabbed my roughly, his eyes zeroing in on my wrist. I looked down and closed my eyes, cursing myself internally. Fuck!

Hikaru's eyes narrowed as he glared at the yellowing bruise around my wrist. I had completely forgotten about that. It didn't hurt anymore so it had sort of slipped my mind. Shit! Shit, shit, shit! Hikaru was going to take this completely the wrong way. It wasn't anything – it was an accident. Kyouya had just gripped me a bit harder than he had intended... I mean I think he had, he hadn't exactly said anything about it.

“What the fuck is this?” Hikaru asked, his voice deadly.

“It's nothing,” I said forcing myself to smile and sound cheerful. Hiakru lifted my wrist in front of my face.

“Do you call this nothing?” he asked. I looked away, unable to meet his eye, as he let go of me. I held it protectively to my chest, still not meeting his eye. “Kaoru what the hell?”

“It was an accident,” I said softly.

“Really?” Hikaru asked sceptically. “Was it actually an accident or did he tell you to say that?”

“Look I know this looks bad,” I said, “but it really was an accident. I'm fine.”

“I don't believe you,” he said. I shrugged.

“I honestly don't know what to tell you,” I said. “It was just a thing that happened.” I couldn't look him in the eye. I knew what I'd see if I did – anger and disappointment. I heard him sigh and, only then, did I look up at him. He looked exhausted and like he was in pain. My chest ached, was he in this much anguish because of me?

“Has he hit you?” he asked after a long pause.

“No,” I said, almost too quickly.

“Really,” he asked. “You're not just saying that to get me to drop it?”

“No,” I said again.”This really was just an accident.”

“I just can't bare to see you hurt though,” he said. “You're my brother and my best friend.” I placed my hand on top of one of his.

“Hikaru it's alright,” I told him. “I really am fine.”

“But you're not though,” Hikaru replied taking my hand, linking our fingers together. “You hardly have any friends apart from me and I don't totally count as we're related, you're defending him when he's clearly hurting you and the way he talks to you is clear he doesn't love you or even respect you.” I could feel tears pricking my eyes. He was right but there was nothing I could do about it. I was too dependent on Kyouya to do anything... not really anyway.

“It's...” I began but he cut me off.

“If you say 'fine' I'll... fuck I don't know what I'll do,” he said. He gave my hand a squeeze. “Kaoru I'm begging you; please leave Kyouya. Just get your things and you can move back in here with me.”

“Hikaru...”

“Please,” he said. He untangled our fingers and wrapped his arms around my shoulders, pulling me into a hug. “Please, before this relationship kills you.” I hugged him back, burying my face into his shoulder.

“I can't,” I mumbled. I didn't want him to hear me because I knew that he wouldn't be happy and that he would have a few things to say about it.

“What?” he asked. He took hold of my shoulders and pushed me back so he could look at me.

“You heard me,” I muttered, looking away.

“Why though?” he asked and I heard his voice catch. “Why can't you just leave him?”

“Because Kyouya's the only one who will ever want me,” I said.

“That's not true,” he said. “That's just what he's made you think and what he wants you to think, it's not true!”

Was he right? He didn't feel right. From where I was standing it felt like Kyouya was the only person in the world who would be interested in someone like me. I didn't think I could leave him now, even if I tried. I don't imagine it would go down particularly well for me if I did tell him that I thought we should end things. I could predict what he would say if I did – 'you think you can do better?' Did I? No... I didn't think anyone would be interested in me so of course I didn't. Kyouya just had a way of twisting my thoughts till I was really confused and wasn't sure what were my thoughts and what were his.

“I'm sorry,” I said getting to my feet. “I can't.” I heard him sigh but he got to his feet as well, wrapping his arms around me from behind and resting his head on my shoulder.

“I'll be here if you need me,” he told me. I placed my hand on top of his arm and leaned my head against his.

“Thank you,” I whispered so that my voice didn't crack.

 

Leaving Hikaru that day so one of the hardest things I had ever done. I had wanted to stay curled up on his sofa and not leave unless I absolutely had to. But I couldn't stay. I knew Kyouya would be home soon and I didn't want the headache of him asking me even more questions than he was already going to. The entire car ride home I couldn't get Hikaru's words out of my head as I stared out of the window.

Was he right about this? I had never thought about it before. Like I had told Hikaru; Kyouya never hit me or anything like that, and the bruises on my wrist really had been an accident, but it wasn't exactly the easiest relationship in the world. He hardly ever showed me any affection apart form just before we had sex and when there were people around. There were little things he said or did that I tried to avoid (like questioning me for ages if I was late home) because it wasn't worth the trouble.

I mean he hadn't stopped me from seeing other people, aside from Hikaru, but in a way I suppose he had. He had made me think that it would be a good idea... there was a lot he had made me think was a good idea that I didn't really want to do. Maybe Hikaru was right about Kyouya but I just wasn't sure what I could do about it. It wasn't as if I had many options or could just up and leave him.

There didn't feel like any options. I couldn't leave Kyouya. If I did no one else would have me and I didn't think I'd have the strength to be on my own, not after being so dependent on him for so long. I was so torn; I had no idea what to do and I still wasn't totally convinced one way or the other whether Hikaru was right. I didn't have a whole lot of time to really think about it as the car pulled up outside the house. I saw Kyouya's car in the drive and my heart sank – I had wanted a little time on my own before he came home.

I toyed with the idea of telling the driver to turn around and just drive around for a while but that would be even worse as he'd ask me what the hell I had been doing especially if he called Hikaru to find out when I left. When the car had stopped I sat there for a moment before I finally got out and went up to the front door letting myself in.

“I'm home,” I said. I almost hoped that there would be no response, even though I had seen his car. Unfortunately no such luck for me.

“Welcome home,” Kyouya said, coolly. He smirked at me, leaning against the wall of the hallway. “Have fun with Hikaru?”

“Yeah,” I lied. I didn't really know what else to say. I couldn't exactly tell him our topic of conversation. 'Hey my brother thinks you're abusing me in some way'. Yeah that would go down like a lead balloon. Kyouya pushed himself off the wall and sauntered over to me.

“So do you have any plans for tonight?” he asked, running a fingertip down my cheek. I fought the urge to lean into his touch. Despite everything he still had the ability to make me weak and needy. “I gave the servants the night off so it's just the too of us.” I really wasn't in the right frame of mind for this right now.

“No,” I replied. He continued to smirk.

“Good,” he said. “I picked up something fun for you earlier today that I want to try out.” He traced his fingers down my neck and chest to the waistband of my jeans. No! I really didn't want this. I grabbed his hand. He looked down at me in confusion and amusement.

“I... I...” I could barely find my voice but I had to say something before this went too far. “I can't do this tonight.”

“Oh really?” he asked. He was still smirking at me and it was very disconcerting. “What's suddenly brought on this change of heart?”

“I just...” I began. How could I even begin to put this into words? I mean I just didn't want to – I had no other explanation than that. Something just sort of felt off. “I just don't want to tonight.” He brushed my fringe out of my eyes and wound his fingers into my hair. He gave my hair a sharp tug. I cried out in surprise and pain, clutching at his wrist as he continued to pull. He forced my head back so that I had to look up at him. He stared down at me coldly.

“Are you going to behave?” he asked, his voice like ice. “Or am I going to have to tie you up?” I'd heard Hikaru say that to his girlfriend a few time when I hadn't had enough time to put on headphones before they got started. There had always been a playful element to it but there was no amusement in Kyouya's voice. He gave my hair another sharp tug and I winced.

“Kyouya...” I whimpered clutching, in vain, at his fingers. “Please...” Tears began to sting at the corners of my eyes as my scalp throbbed. I was desperate not to cry in front of him but I could feel cold fear settling in my stomach.

“Please what?” he asked smirking down at me.

“Please don't do this,” I begged. He chuckled darkly before dragging me by my hair up the stairs. I cried out trying to pull my hair out of his grip but he was much stronger than I was so I had no chance. I kept trying no matter how ineffective.

When we reached the bedroom he threw me down onto the floor. My head hit the edge of the bedside cabinet painfully. I clutched my head as the world began to spin. I felt sick but I didn't have time to right myself or regain my composure before Kyouya grabbed me again and shoved me roughly onto the floor, pinning me down with his body weight. I struggled, trying to fight him off but to no avail – I just wasn't strong enough. His hand flew to my throat, squeezing so tightly I was struggling to breath.

“You're mine,” he said, his voice low and dangerous. “Don't ever forget that. If I want you to do something then you fucking do it, do you understand?” I could barely speak; the pressure on my throat was cutting off my voice and all that came out was a rasping gasp. He gave my hair a rough grab, pulling it. “I said do you understand?”

“Yes,” I chocked out.

“Good.” He let go of my throat, leaving me coughing and panting, desperately trying to pull air back into my lungs. He leaned over me and reached into one of the draws. I struggled again but it was absolutely no use – he was much stronger that I was. I had no idea how but, then again, I had virtually no muscle.

When he pulled back I saw he had grabbed a bottle of lubricant – he at least wanted it to feel good if nothing else. My brain seemed to shut down as he undid my belt and jeans. As he roughly yanked my trousers down I could feel myself becoming completely numb to everything, as if was happening to someone else. I was vaguely aware of him squirting some of the lubricant out of the tube but I couldn't bring myself to do anything else as there was no point anymore. I couldn't fight back and he had won.

He pushed into me and it hurt like fuck, even with the little bit of lube it still felt like my spine was ripping apart. I breathed through the pain; it didn't lessen it at all but it gave me something to take my mind of it. I counted as he thrust his way to completion just to keep myself from passing out. Eventually I felt him stiffen inside me and warmth spread through me. Thank god it was over.

I waited but he didn't pull out. I felt him shift and then something clasped round my throat. I reached up to feel a collar now around my neck. I tried to turn to look at him but I didn't seem to have enough energy and everything hurt like hell.

“What...” I began but my voice failed me. Kyouya gave the collar a harsh tug.

“Just a little token to remind you who you belong to,” he told me. “This never comes off, do you understand?” I couldn't make my voice work. I just opened my mouth and stared at him. “Don't make me ask you again.”

“Yes,” I replied, my voice barely above a whisper. I feared that if I spoke any louder then I would crack completely and my voice was hoarse from his choking grip.

“Good,” he said. “Don't ever take it off and if you do I will know and I will make you regret it.” I nodded. He seemed satisfied with this and got to his feet. He ruffled my hair and left the room, and closing the bathroom door. I waited until he was gone and I heard the sound of the shower start to run before curling up as tightly as could and sobbing. He had never done that before and now that I knew what he was capable of I knew that Hikaru was right but I had no idea what I could do to make it stop.

 


	5. Chapter 4

After that day whenever Kyouya and I had sex it would be like that. Sometimes he would treat me well and would actually make me feel as if I wanted to have sex with him. More often than not he would just hold me down and fuck me until he was done with me. Each time I would just breath through it and wait for it to end as I still couldn't do anything to fight him off or make him stop. It was hell.

I had taken to leaving the house as often as I could when he wasn't home, just because I didn't want to be reminded of the things he did. I needed to escape every so often. I knew I should leave. I should just do what Hikaru had told me, pack my things and just leave. I couldn't though. I just couldn't bring myself to do it.

What would I do without Kyouya? I mean I know I have Hikaru but I couldn't impose on him like that and I had lost contact with everyone else and I didn't feel up to putting myself out there again. I mean what if I met someone and they turned out to be another Kyouya? The thought made me physically sick.

All these thoughts were swirling round and round inside my head as I walked around town. I wasn't looking for anything in particular, or even looking at anything that wasn't the floor, I just wanted to be out of the house. I was so wrapped up in my own thoughts (yet another circular round of 'I should leave... I can't leave...') that I didn't notice the people around my until one of them stepped out in front of me and shoved a leaflet under my nose.

“Hey,” the stranger said, smiling at me. “Can I interest you in a leaflet? No obligation, just take one.” Wow!

My mouth went dry as I looked at him. He was gorgeous! A couple of inches shorter than me, but there was barely anything in it, with long blond hair that he wore in a lose braid down his back, golden eyes that seemed to match his hair and an absolutely beautiful smile. I hadn't found anyone that strikingly attractive since I had first fallen for Tamaki in high school and it sort of hit me like a brick wall. All I could do for the longest time was stare at him, open mouthed, before I came back to myself. I shook my head.

“No thank you,” I said politely and made to leave. I couldn't work out what I wanted – I didn't particularly want to just walk away, I sort of just wanted to stare at him until my heart had stopped fluttering like a little bird. I had no business staying, though, so I made to leave. What I didn't expect was for the stranger to start following me. I raised an eyebrow at him as I turned to him. “Can I help you?”

“Hey don't just give me the brush off like I'm some charity worker,” he said grinning at me. “I ain't asking for money from you.”

“Then what are you asking for?”

“Just for your time,” he said. “Take a leaflet and have a look at it.” He handed one too me, beaming at me. I took it.

“Is this your sales pitch?” I asked. “You bug people until they take one?”

“Yep,” he said. I looked down at the leaflet. On it was a picture of two muscular guy without shirts on looking like they were about to start punching each other's lights out. At the top were the words 'Friday Night Fights' in big, bold letters.

“A fight club?” I asked.

“Yeah,” the guy said. “We meet up every Friday, get together, have some fun and a few fights and then the bruises are gone by Monday. It's amazing good fun, good exercise, we've got a proper ring and everything. All you could want.” He got so passionate when he talked about fighting he was even more beautiful. I couldn't stop staring at him and I was probably starting to look creepy. He was just so stunning and I hadn't felt like this in so long that I was overcome with a long forgotten emotion.

“Any particular reason?” I asked finally finding my voice. I cleared my throat. I was so used to being alone that I had sort of forgotten how to be around people who weren't Hikaru and Kyouya. He shrugged and grinned at me.

“For fun,” he said. “Do you need any other reason than that?” I raised an eyebrow at him. He held out his hand. “I'm Ed.” I stared at him and he stared back at me. “And you are?”

“Why do you want to know?” I asked.

“That's generally how people have conversations,” he laughed.

“Oh,” I said blushing. Of course. He was just being friendly, how could I have missed something so basic. I took his hand and shook it. “Kaoru.”

“Nice name,” he smiled and my hart skipped a beat.

“Th... thank you,” I stammered.

“You a local boy?” Why does he want to know so much about me? This is weird; normal people don't just stop random people in the streets and ask for their life's story... do they? It had been a long time since I had spoken to someone normal.

“Is this an interrogation?” I asked. He laughed.

“I believe people call it an introduction.”

“Oh... right...” Christ I am so fucking basic!

“You don't get out much, do you?” he asked. I blushed and rubbed the back of my neck in embarrassment.

“Yes I am local,” I said choosing to ignore his last question. “What about you? Ed certainly doesn't sound like a Japanese name.” That came out sounding a lot more accusatory that I had intended it to but he took it in his stride.

“You got me,” he chuckled. “I'm from Germany originally.”

“What brought you to Japan?” I asked.

“My and my buddies fancied a change of pace,” he replied, shrugging. “We've done a fair amount of travelling but we needed to stop here for a bit and we've been here a couple of months now.”

“So you started up a fight club?” I asked sceptically.

“It sounds crazy but we needed to do something while we were here; it was a good idea and a good way for us to keep fit while we're in one place,” he said.

“I suppose it is,” I said looking at the leaflet in my hand. It would be a good way to build up some strength. Might even help me be able to defend myself when Kyouya was in one of his moods again.

“You should give it a try,” Ed told me, snapping me back to reality. “It's fun and it's a good way to get out some pent up aggression.”

“What makes you think I have pent up aggression?” I asked. I was a little affronted by the insinuation. Did I look like I had pent up aggression or something?

“Everyone has some form of pent up aggression,” he laughed. “You just need to find a healthy outlet for it and this is a good way to do it. Plus it builds your strength and stamina as well as developing your core muscles and it releases loads of endorphins too.”

“Look at me,” I said, stopping his flow before he got too excited. “Do you honestly thing I'd last five minutes in the ring with one of these guys?” I gestured to the two guys on the leaflet. They were huge! If I came up against one of them I'm pretty sure I would die.

“Everyone's got to start somewhere,” Ed said, shrugging like this was obvious. I was a little tempted, for no other reason than I wanted to be able to see this absolutely stunning man again. I shouldn't though. Despite everything I was still with Kyouya and I was not going to be one of those people that cheats on their partner, no matter what they were like or what happened. No, I should just put a stop to this now before things went too far. Also if Kyouya caught me talking to another man there would be hell to pay and I didn't want to think what he would do to me (although I could imagine).

“Well thank you very much,” I said handing the leaflet back to him. “but I don't have any pent up aggression.”

“No way, that's yours now,” he said nodding at the leaflet and taking a step back. “You keep it.”

“But I'm not going to use it,” I said.

“Maybe not,” Ed shrugged nonchalantly, “but you never know.” I studied him. He didn't give up easily, I'll give him that.

“No, seriously,” I said trying to give him the leaflet back again. “Give it to someone who will actually use it.

“Alright,” he sighed and took the leaflet from me.

“Thank you anyway,” I said. I was about to leave when he quickly folded the leaflet and slipped it into my pocket. “Hey! What the hell?”

“Just think on it okay?” he said smiling at me. His smile was so compelling that I couldn't bring myself to say no.

“Okay,” I replied.

“Great.” He beamed, so happy that I had agreed I felt a twinge in my chest. I couldn't understand why he was making me feel this way. Was I that starved of human kindness that I jumped on the first person who showed me any? Maybe I was but there was just something about Ed that drew me in and made me want to stay and talk to him. I had to leave now before I got in too deep.

“Well thank you very much,” I said and held out my hand to him again. He shook it, that same small smile playing about his lips.

“See you Friday,” he said. I said nothing, just nodded and smiled before leaving. As I continued my way through town, beginning to head towards home, I could feel my heart fluttering in my chest, Ed's smile on my mind. I shook my head. That kind of thought was ridiculous – I was never going to see him again so there was no point even entertaining the notion. I was just going to go home to Kyouya and forget all about Ed – it was the only choice I had otherwise I would end up doing something stupid.

 


	6. Chapter 5

I couldn't get Ed out of my mind. I tried, I really did. I tried to keep my thoughts in check and I kept the leaflet that he had given me in the pocket of my jeans, just in case Kyouya ever went through my clothes. It wasn't as if I'd ever be able to explain why I kept the leaflet – I mean sure 'this random guy on the street shoved it into my hand' is fine until the question 'why do you still have it' was thrown around. I don't even know why I did keep it. I should have just thrown in away but, much like being unable to get Ed out of my head, I couldn't bring myself to throw it away. I kept running my finger over the edge of it whenever I thought of Ed and I had to keep constantly checking myself.

I didn't want Kyouya to start asking questions, especially as I was starting to formulate a plan that allowed me to see Ed again. I had decided that I wanted to and the only way I was going to be able to do that was to go to the fight club. I had gone back through town the next time I went to clear my head and I had seen someone standing where Ed had been handing out leaflets but it wasn't him. I had been disappointed so it was clear, even to me, that I wanted to see him again and had to go to the club to do that.

Thankfully I was incredibly lucky and Kyouya told me that he was working late that coming Friday. I waited until he had called to say when he would be be home so that I would know when I had to be back. He also requested that when he got home I was naked and ready for him so at least I had a rough idea of how much time I had. If he had come home and hadn't found me there I would have been in so much trouble and, much like with most things, I didn't want to try my luck with it and face the consequences.

By the time I found the club I was a bag of nerves about seeing Ed and by the time I reached the door I was barely holding it together. God what is wrong with me? I probably wouldn't even see him so why was I getting myself all worked up. I was still with Kyouya – that hadn't changed at all – and I was just here so that I could see Ed again, stop thinking about him and get on with my life. Nothing more because there was nothing more that needed to happen.

The club was packed, bodies pressing in on all sides with a ring set up on a raised platform come stage in the middle of the room. In the middle of the ring were two pretty well built guys, both without shirts and both going for each other like there was no tomorrow. They both had black hair and the only way I could tell either of them apart was that one of them had a scar on his abdomen that looked like a burn and the other had a slightly scruffy beard. The one with the beard seemed to be winning.

“And another cheep shot to the ribs from Mustang,” a familiar voice said, the sound echoing around the room. “Hughes does not look like he's going to take this shit lying down!” I looked away from the fight to the direction of the voice and, sure enough, saw Ed standing just outside the ring, a microphone in his hand. “If anyone wants to place bets, now is the time to do it as you've got five minutes left.”

I looked across at the other side of the ring and saw a guy, who looked very similar to Ed but with much shorter hair, taking bets from people. I guess that was how they made their money then. I had been wondering how they actually afforded to rent a place this big. It was one of the old unused warehouses on the outskirts of town and they had done a pretty decent job with fixing the place up into somewhere where they could host something like this.

“I'm putting my money on Hughes,” a big guy in front of me said as he and his friend began to weave their way through the crowd towards the betting table. His friend snorted.

“Nah fam, Mustang's going to win this one – hands down,” he replied. The first guy laughed.

“You're tripping,” he said before they disappeared into the crowd. Now that they were out of the way I had a bit more room to manoeuvre my way closer to the ring so I could get a better view. I had to admit watching these two beating the shit out of each other was rather exciting and it would be quite fun to get in there myself. I mean I would probably be knocked out after one punch but it would be fun while I was in there.

The two guys in the ring seemed to be locking in a stalemate, neither making any progress towards a victory. Then the one with the beard took a step back, making the other lose his footing. The one with the beard managed to grab the other and force him into submission on the floor with his arms pinned behind his head. The other struggled but to no avail – he was well and truly pinned. Ed jumped into the ring and began a count down, the rest of the crowd joining in the closer he got to the end of the count.

“Three... two... one...” Ed shouted into the microphone. He grabbed the one with the beard's wrist and raised his hand in the air. “The winner – Hughes! Too bad Mustang, butter luck next time.” He gave the loser (presumably Mustang) a pat on the shoulder as he got to his feet and he and Hughes left the ring, Hughes throwing his arm around Mustang's shoulder. “Right we're going to take a ten minute break and start up with another fight in a bit. Lists are on the board; so get your bets in, get a drink and we'll be back soon.”

The crowd cheered as he left the ring. As he handed the microphone to a guy with long dark dreadlocks he looked back into the crowd and he seemed to look in my direction. I felt my heart skip as he smiled. Oh god, that smile! Was he smiling at me? I couldn't tell, because I was surrounded by people, but I could feel my cheeks heating up slightly all the same.

I watched him leave the stage and came into the crowd. He weaved his way through the bodies and it looked as if he was making his way over towards me. Oh no! Oh no this is not good! I shouldn't have come here, I should leave now before I make an even bigger fool of myself than I already had by showing up! Ed reached me and he was practically beaming at me. My chest tightened – oh he looked so good when he smiled! Fucking hell I'm so pathetic, jumping at the first sign of human kindness.

“Hey,” he said, happily, and he seemed genuinely happy to see me. “You came!” I shrugged trying to look non-committal.

“You made it sound fun and I wanted to see what all the fuss was about,” I said.

“Well I'm glad you did,” he smiled. I bit my lip. I wanted to do something, I didn't know what, but again I know I shouldn't. I was still with Kyouya and I didn't even know if Ed was in anyway interested in me that way. “So did you enjoy the fight?” he asked.

“It was interesting, I'll give you that,” I said.

“Told you,” he said. “So can I get you a drink? I've still got a couple of minutes before I have to referee another match.” I bit my lip again. A part of me really, _really_ wanted to say yes. I shouldn't though. This would be a really bad idea.

“Thank you but I probably shouldn't,” I said. “I wasn't planning on staying and I do need to head home.”

“That's a shame,” Ed said. “Would have been nice to have had a chance to talk to you properly... maybe next time?”

Oh god is he asking me out? I think he is – he is asking me to come back here and have a drink with him! I had no idea what to do. I had no idea how I wanted to handle this because this had never happened to me before. No one had ever asked me out before (Kyouya had propositioned me, not asked me out that didn't count) and I didn't know how to deal with it. No... I had better put a stop to this now before it went to far.

“Thank you very much,” I said “but I won't be coming back. I just wanted to see what all the fuss was about. I've done that but I think seeing this once was more than enough for me.” I mean there was nothing more to it than just 'two guys get in the ring and beat up each other until one of them is on the floor'.

“Ah that's a shame,” he said. “You really should come back for another try. There's more to this than just watching.”

“What more could I try?”

“You could actually try getting in the ring,” he said. I laughed.

“Like I said,” I told him. “I would not last five minutes in the ring against one of these guys.” Ed shrugged.

“I still say you gotta start somewhere,” he said. “And, I gotta say, it would be nice to see you again but if you've gotta go then that's cool.”

“It was nice meeting you,” I said “but I really should be going now.”

“Hey,” he called as I turned to leave. “Next time come dressed for a fight.” I rolled my eyes. This guy really wasn't one for giving up. It was quite nice that he cared enough to keep persisting in getting me to come back.

“I won't be coming back,” I said. He grinned at me.

“You said that last time but you're here now.”

“Touché,” I replied grinning.

“So come dressed for a fight next time,” he said before returning to the ring. I smiled to myself as I weaved my way through the crowd and out of the club. Well he was persistent, I would certainly give him that...

 


	7. Chapter 6

The following week all I could think about was Ed. I couldn't get him off my mind no matter how hard I tried. It even got to the point where one night when Kyouya was fucking me if I closed my eyes I imagined that it was Ed and he was actually treating me like I was more than something to just shove his dick in. Shit! I hadn't done that for a while and that was not a path I wanted to go down again.

I wanted to see Ed again and I knew that I had to go back to the club in order to do that. The next time Kyouya was working late on Friday I packed a bag of the only clothes I had that I thought would be appropriate for a fight and went to the club. My stomach was filled with butterflies and I was freaking out again. It had been two weeks since I had seen Ed and I was really excited and really nervous at the same time.

Even though I had arrived earlier than the last time I came the club was still packed. Now that I was actually there and geared up to get in the ring I had no idea how I would even go about it. I should have thought about this more. Before I had the chance to lose my nerve and bottle it I made my way over to the betting table. The guy who looked like Ed but didn't was sitting there. Maybe that was what he did rather than get in the ring and fight.

“Hey,” he smiled at me. “What can I do for you?”

“I'd like to fight... please.” I could feel my face heating up. That sounded so ridiculous and I was cringing internally. The guy at the table simply smiled at me.

“Okay,” he said. He placed a piece of paper and a pen on the table in front of me. “Fill this out then you can go get changed. We already have a couple of fights lined up so you'll be third on the bill. That alright with you?”

“Um... sure thing.” I didn't really know what else to say so I picked up the pen and started to fill out the form. It was a health form more than anything, asking about medical problems they should be aware about and if you were fit enough to go in the ring as well as a disclaimer stating that it was your choice to get into the ring and any injuries sustained while fighting were no fault of the organisers. I filled it out quickly, leaving my name till last as I didn't want the chance of it getting back to Kyouya that I had snuck out of the house to go to a fight club. Finally I scribbled down the first thing that came to mind and handed the form back.

“Changing rooms are through there,” Not Ed said pointing to a door behind him. “Good luck.”

“Thanks,” I said and made my way over to the changing rooms. I set myself up in the corner of the room and waited for the other guys already in there to leave before I started getting changed. I changed out of my jeans and into some tracksuit trousers before changing my shirt. I was glad there were no mirrors in here as my chest was littered with bruises from the last time Kyouya got annoyed. I grabbed my spare t-shirt and began to pull it on.

“So... Hikaru,” Ed's voice said. I hurriedly pulled my shirt down to cover my torso. I didn't want anyone to see the bruises (hence why I had waited until I was alone) because I didn't want anyone asking questions. I turned to see Ed leaning against the door frame. “You decided to come back then?”

“Thought I might as well give it a go,” I replied turning to stuff my clothes into my bag, purposefully not meeting his eyes. How much had he just seen? Probably enough for him to want to ask me something at least.

“Well go hard or go home I always say,” he chuckled. “So two questions... well four actually but I don't expect to get an answer for two of them.” Fuck! He had seen and he did want to ask questions.

“Depends what it is,” I replied.

“Okay, so first one then; who is Hikaru?” he asked. “Unless you fake-named me before when you told me your name was Kaoru.” I sighed but didn't say anything. “Don't make me go through your wallet and find out.”

“You're incredibly invasive, you know that right?” I told him, casting a glance at him over my shoulder. He laughed loudly, pushed himself off the wall and came over to me. He stretched and let his arms hang behind his head.

“Humour me,” he said. “I'm just curious about you. Most people I can figure out easily but not you.”

“Why do you want to figure me out?” I asked. He shrugged again and sat down on the bench next to my bag.

“Like I said; humour me.”

“He's my brother,” I told him.

“Older or younger?” he asked.

“Twins,” I replied. He grinned and leaned his head back against the wall, looking up at the ceiling.

“Oh wow, two of you that look like that... how does anyone get anything done?” he muttered. Did I just hear that right?

“What?” I asked. He waved me off.

“Nothing,” he replied. “So next question; what are you wearing a shirt for?” I looked down at my t-shirt and then at him again with a raised eyebrow.

“You told me to come dressed for a fight,” I said. I would have thought that would have been obvious.

“Yeah but most people fight in skins,” he stated.

“Do you have to?” I asked.

“Well no...”

“Then I'm not,” I said firmly, making sure he knew that the conversation was well and truly over. He shrugged and crossed his arms over his chest.

“Fair enough,” he said. “Although I sure as hell wouldn't want to go up against Envy in a shirt – he fights dirty.”

“That who I'm up against?” I asked. He nodded. “Cool.” I turned to leave the changing rooms but Ed grabbed my wrist and stopped me. I looked over my shoulder at him.

“That has to come off,” he said, his eyes zeroed in on my neck. I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion before I realised what he was looking at. My hand flew up to my throat to the collar. I looked away, unable to meet his eye.

“I... I can't,” I mumbled. Ever since Kyouya had stuck it on me I hadn't taken it off even once. He had said he would know if I did and I didn't want to face the consequences of what he would do to me.

“You can't fight with that on,” Ed said getting to his feet, not letting go of my wrist. “You could do yourself a serious injury.”

“But I...” I began. I tailed off as I felt gentle fingers undoing the clasp of the collar. My entire body stiffened but I let him take it off. I heard him gasp softly but he didn't say anything. I wouldn't be surprised if I had rubbed the skin on my neck raw constantly fidgeting with it and Kyouya tugging on it when we had sex. Showering with it on had been particularly difficult. Ed handed me the collar and gave me a gentle pat on the shoulder.

“I'll see you in the ring.”

“Okay,” I replied. I waited until I was sure he had left before I flopped down onto the bench and placed my head in my hands, feeling tears pricking the corners of my eyes but I couldn't work out why.

 

“Third fight of the evening,” Ed said into the microphone, standing in the centre of the ring and looking out into the crowd. “Newcomer Hikaru versus reigning champ Envy!” I looked across the ring at my opponent. He was tall, wiry and had long, dark dreadlocks pulled back out of his face by a headband. He grinned at me and I suddenly felt that this was a horrifically bad idea. I was about to get killed!

“Are you ready to die new kid?” Envy asked.

“Alright reel it in Envy,” Ed said rolling his eyes before raising the microphone to his lips again. “Okay, so rules for the new guy; anything goes apart from shots to the junk – fighting like that will get you disqualified and can get you banned if it continues. Fish hooking is also not allowed. Hair pulling is fair game but be prepared to be told you fight like a girl if you do.”

“You're so fucked,” Envy grinned at me. I felt like I should at least say something in retaliation.

“I think you'll find, you're the one who'll be fucked,” I said. I regretted it instantly. I had meant to sound threatening but had come off sounding like I was propositioning him! Envy laughed loudly.

“Baby you couldn't handle me,” he said.

“Alright guys drop the smack talk, you both suck at it,” Ed laughed. “Right you both ready?”

“Bring it on,” Envy said. I just nodded not wanting to say anything else stupid.

“Okay,” Ed said grinning. “Three... two... one... fight!”

Ed jumped out of the ring and suddenly I was standing alone with this Envy guy and he looked like he was going to enjoy beating the shit out of me. This was suddenly the worst idea I had ever had in my entire life. Fuck! What am I doing? I don't know how to fight and he's going to fucking kill me! Oh god!

Envy too a step towards me and I braced myself. He took a swing at me and I ducked the blow. I was feeling pretty good about that until he landed a blow to my back while I wasn't looking. He got one of his legs behind mine and before I knew it I was on my back looking up at the ceiling. I was about to try and get to my feet but before I could do anything Envy was on top of me pinning me down.

He began a ground and pound attack, each blow to my ribs sending flashes of pain through me. I tried to wriggle free but he was surprisingly heavy for someone who looked like he was made of gossamer and dreams. I took a swing at him and managed to land a blow to the side of his head, even from that awkward angle. The blow seemed to take him by surprise which I used to my advantage.

I managed to throw him off and get to my feet. I took another swing at him and managed to land a blow to his shoulder. I was starting to feel pretty good about my performance so far, especially as I managed to block the punch he sent my way by grabbing his wrist. That turned out to be a mistake as he used that along with a fistful of my t-shirt to flip me over his shoulder and get me back on the floor again for another ground and pound session.

I was getting tired. I hadn't managed to go anything like this in a really long time and the pure and simple fact that I was incredibly unfit meant that I was losing badly. With each blow Envy landed I could feel the pain taking over me and I didn't think I would be able to get to my feet even if that was an option. Envy stopped his relentless assault and got off me. I couldn't even move, I just lay there staring up at the ceiling as Ed started the countdown.

“Three... two... one...” I heard him shout along with the rest of the crowd. “The winner and still undefeated champion – Envy!” I tried to move but my entire body felt like lead. “We're going to take a quick break to clean the new guy up so we'll be back in ten. Get a drink in and place your bets for the next match. See you in a bit.”

I lay there trying to catch your breath, just staring up at the ceiling until I felt myself being picked up. One of my arms was place around Ed's shoulder and the other was placed around Envy's. I felt Envy wrap an arm around my waist to keep me upright.

“Come on new kid,” he said. “Let's get you fixed.”

I let Ed and Envy lead me back to the changing rooms. It felt like I was completely separate from my body as they sat me down on the bench next to my bag. I closed my eyes and allowed one of them to pull my shirt over my head and completely off. I heard a sharp intake of breath, which I guessed came from Envy because I was pretty sure Ed had already seen the state I was in. I didn't want to open my eyes and see the look on his face. I was probably going to have to explain myself now whether I wanted to or not.

“Hey Envy,” I heard Ed say. “Can you referee the next few matches for me while I fix him up?”

“Um sure...” he said softly. “Fuck!”

“Are you okay?” Ed asked.

“Yeah I'm fine,” Envy replied. “Just... wow, I really messed him up back there.”

“No this wasn't you,” Ed muttered. I barely heard him, his voice was so quiet. This was clearly something he didn't want me to hear but I was too aware and on edge to not hear him. “He was messed up before he got in the ring.”

“How...” Envy began.

“Why do you think he was wearing a shirt?” Ed asked.

“Oh...” Envy said softly. “Okay, I'll go do some refing, let me know if you need me.”

“Thanks,” Ed said. I waited until I heard the door close before I opened my eyes. Ed was busying himself with a first aid kit. I watched him silently for a moment as he opened a bottle of anti-septic and poured some onto a cloth. He turned to me and smiled, looking over my face to see what needed to be done first. He placed his hand under my chin and tilted my face upwards. I winced slightly as his fingers brushed a graze on my cheek I must have got from one of the times when I hit the floor.

“You okay?” he asked. I winced again as he pressed the cloth to the graze. It stung like hell but I knew it was a good thing in the long run. I didn't understand why Ed was helping me though. He didn't have to.

“Yeah,” I replied. I looked away as he continued to clean up my cheek. The silence stretched on and I thought I should fill it. I needed to say something – to thank him for cleaning me up or something – but I had no idea what to say. “Why did you tell him about the bruises?” I asked. I hadn't meant for it to come out sounding quite so accusatory but I was more annoyed about it that I first realised. Ed looked up from where he was now placing an ice back under my ribs. The cold stung but my chest hurt like hell so I was grateful.

“Well, as much as he irritates the hell out of me at times, I don't want Envy to think he's responsible for causing you grievous bodily harm,” he said.

“Oh...”

“Plus if he'd have been the one cleaning you up he would have noticed that these aren't fresh,” he said. “They wouldn't have come up this quickly.”

“Oh...” I didn't know what else to say. He was right; the bruises on my chest had clearly been there for a while and Envy would have realised that eventually. I turned away, staring at the wall.

“So you want to tell me how you go these?” he asked. I still wouldn't meet his eye.

“No,” I replied.

“Well if you ever change your mind, you can always talk to me,” he said. I turned to stare at him with narrowed eyes. There was no way I could tell him what was going on – Kyouya would kill me if he found out. Ed pressed the anti-septic soaked cloth to my neck on the skin that had been under my collar. I let out a sharp intake of breath; that was more painful than I had expected it to be. “Sorry,” he said. I shook my head but he took hold of my chin to stop me from moving so he could continue with his clean up.

“It's fine,” I replied.

“This doesn't look fine,” he said.

“It's fine,” I said again, this time more firmly. Silence fell over us again, all of Ed's concentration seemed to be focused on my neck and tension was heavy in the air. I sighed. “Why are you doing this?” I asked. Ed stopped what he was doing and stared down at me.

“Doing what?”

“Why are you being so nice to me?” I asked. “I'm a total stranger, you don't have to clean me up or anything so why are you?”

“Because we look after our own here,” he said. A lump formed in my throat and I could feel tears pricking the corners of my eyes again. I had never thought of the possibility of someone wanting to help me. I had spent so much time distancing myself from everyone I hadn't realised people might actually want to get close to me. Why did this guy showing me basic human kindness make me feel so broken? “So tell me about Hikaru,” he said suddenly. He could tell that I needed a distraction from what was going on in my head and I was grateful for it.

“He's an idiot,” I said laughing softly. “He's hot headed and he doesn't really think before he does things.”

“And you do?” he asked laughing.

“Normally I do,” I replied. “Apparently not tonight.”

“So what's it like having a twin?” Ed asked after a pause.

“It's fun,” I replied. “When we were younger we used to play this game called 'Which one is Hikaru?' Only one person ever beat us.”

“I'd like to give it a go sometime,” he said. It was nice talking to him and having him take care of me. For the first time in years I actually felt as if someone other than my brother cared. It was nice to just allow someone to take care of me and the fact that it was Ed just made things better... or worse depending on how I looked at them. I was falling and I was falling hard. This was so bad.

 


	8. Chapter 7

“Where were you last night?” Kyouya asked me the next morning over breakfast. Fuck! I should have expected this. By the time I got back home Kyouya was already home and asleep. Well... I assumed he was asleep. I left him in bed and went to pass out on the sofa. I was woken up that morning by Kyouya gently brushing my hair out of my face. I was amazed at how tender he was considering that I was prepared for a shit storm. I had been on tenterhooks waiting for it and now it was about to hit.

“I was at Hikaru's,” I lied. It was out of my mouth before I could really stop it. This was a really dangerous path to go down because if he found out that I was lying then I would probably get my arse handed to me worse than the beating I got from Envy.

“I thought you weren't seeing him till next week,” Kyouya said. Fuck! I was going to end up digging myself deeper and deeper into this lie but I had started now so I should see this through to the end no matter what.

“He called me last night,” I said. “He had a fight with his girlfriend and needed someone to talk to.” That sounded plausible. That was something that Kyouya could believe... at least I hoped he would. If he called Hikaru then I was fucked.

“Oh is he alright?” Kyouya asked. I nodded.

“Yeah,” I replied. “He had calmed down when I left and he said he was going to call her and clear everything up.” The more I spoke the more I was actually starting to convince myself with this lie. Envy must have hit me harder than I thought.

Ed had down a decent job cleaning me up that Kyouya hadn't seemed to notice any of the injuries I sustained last night. Thankfully Envy seemed to have avoided my face and the graze on my cheek had been so tiny. I should be alright as long as Kyouya didn't try to look into this too much. Unless I could somehow get in touch with Hikaru before Kyouya did. Would he check up on me like that though? He pulled out his phone.

“What time did you finally get in?” he asked.

“About half twelve, I think,” I replied. That much at least was true. I had checked the clock when I got in as I expected Kyouya to ask me when I had gotten back at the very least. He lifted the phone to his ear. “What are you doing?” I asked although I had a pretty good idea and my stomach fell.

“I just need to make a quick phone call,” he said. Shit! I was right! I knew exactly who he would be calling before he even said anything and I knew that I was completely fucked. I tried not to show it though. If I could at least look normal then I would have a few minutes before shit really hit the fan. “Hello Hikaru...”

Shit! Shit, shit, fucking shit!

Oh god! I'm totally done for! All I could do was sit there and listen to the one sided conversation, wait for it to be over and then feel Kyouya's wrath once he found out I lied to him. I held my breath.

“No everything is fine, he just wasn't in when I got home last night and I was worried... Yes he's back now, he's still asleep...” Kyouya shot a pointed look at me and smirked. I hoped that my face was still neutral. Over the years of pretending that I wasn't in love with Tamaki, pretending that everything was normal between Kyouya and I and pretending that I was fine I had developed a pretty damn good poker face.

“Oh I'm so sorry to hear that...” Kyouya said. I felt my heart stop. Hikaru really does know me that well! He knows exactly what I would say to Kyouya if I was ever in this situation. “Yes... well I hope everything goes well for you and I'll get him to call you when he wakes up.”

He hung up the phone and surveyed me. I kept my face neutral, just hoping that he would be pissed enough at having been proved wrong that he wouldn't get too angry at me. He got to his feet and went to leave the room. As he did he came to stand behind me, hooked his finger inside the back of the collar and gave it a harsh tug. I felt his hot breath on my ear and a flash of fear ran through me.

“If I find out that you've lied to me then it won't just be this,” he gave it another harsh tug and a soft gasp of pain escaped my lips. “This won't be the only thing you have to wear to show you who you belong to. Do you understand?” I nodded. “Good.”

I could hear the smirk in his voice. I didn't dare too move. I just waited until he let go of the collar and left the room. I hardly dared to move until I heard one of the doors upstairs close and I felt like I could relax. I left out the breath I had been holding. That had been way too close for comfort. That could have gone so badly and it still could but for now I was off the hook at least. My phone vibrated in my pocket, making me jump. I pulled it out to find a text from Hikaru.

“Text me when you're alone,” it read. “We need to talk.”

 

“Kaoru what the fuck is going on?” Hikaru asked as soon as I picked up the phone. I had waited until Kyouya said he had to run into work briefly and then sent him a text to tell him I was alone. I saw on the windowsill in mine and Kyouya's bedroom, overlooking the driveway so I could see when he came back and wrap the conversation up. He called me almost as soon as I had received the delivery report saying he had received my message. I chuckled.

“Were you waiting by the phone or something?” I asked trying to lighten the mood. He sounded so serious and I guess he had reason to be. That must have been a very weird conversation for him this morning.

“Yes,” he replied flatly. Apparently lightening the mood was not going to be an option. “I've pretty much been waiting for you to text me since I got off the phone with Kyouya and I thought you would have made some kind of excuse to get out before now. What the fuck is going on? He calls me saying you weren't in when he got home and wonders where you were to I have to lie to cover you.”

“I know,” I said. “Thank you so much for that and I'm sorry for putting you in that position but it was the only thing I thought he would believe.”

“It's fine,” he replied.

“You know, I never believed in that twin ESP stuff until now,” I said. “We clearly know each other too well.” Hikaru sighed.

“Please stop making joke, this is serious,” he said.

“Sorry.”

“So you want to tell me where you really were last night?” he asked. “Obviously you weren't here, and I'm going to have to have a very weird conversation with Nanako at some point, so where were you?”

“I was out,” I replied. I was in two minds about whether I should actually tell Hikaru what I was doing. I mean on the one hand it was Hikaru, I told him everything, but on the other hand I was so used to making up excuses and hedging around Kyouya's questions that it was starting to become second nature.

“Kaoru this is me you're talking to,” he said. “You don't have to worry, you can tell me anything.”

“I know, I'm sorry,” I said. I looked out the window, not sure what to say next. How would I even begin to start explaining this? I joined a fight club because I think the guy handing out leaflets is hot and really nice even though I'm in a relationship that boarders on the abusive and can't do anything to change that. This was complicated enough in my own head without involving Hikaru in it as well. I suppose I could give him the cliff-noted version...

“Are you seeing someone else?” he asked. I wouldn't blame you if you were but if Kyouya finds out I don't even want to think what he might do.”

“Hikaru it's fine,” I said.

“No, it's not,” he replied. “Kyouya's a psycho and I don't want you to get hurt.”

“Hikaru...”

“Please stop telling me everything's fine!” he cried. “Everything is not fine! Please, just tell me where you were and what the hell is going on.”

“Okay,” I said. I took a deep breath. He was right – this was Hikaru I was talking to. He saved my ass this morning without me even needing to tell him what I had said to Kyouya he knew me that well. I could tell him anything and he wouldn't judge me. “I joined a fight club.”

Silence.

“Beg pardon?” he asked after a moment.

“I joined a fight club,” I said again. There was silence on the other end of the line and I was starting to wonder if Hikaru was still there of if he'd hung up. “Hello?”

“Sorry, I'm still here,” he said. “I'm just trying to get my head around this – you say you've joined a fight club?”

“Yes,” I replied.

“Why?”

“I don't know,” I said and honestly I didn't. It was crazy of me to just decide to join a fight club and put myself in serious harm just so that I could see Ed again. “It sort of just happened but that's where the bruises came from.”

“I don't believe that for a second, the bruises I saw the other day were way too specific to be from just a fist fight,” he said. “This also sounds like it could be really dangerous, I mean what if you end up in hospital?”

“It won''t come to that,” I told him although I had no idea. If I had too many fights like my one with Envy there was every chance I could end up in hospital.

“Kaoru you're my brother and my best friend,” he said. “I'm not going to tell you how to live your life because it is abundantly clear you won't listen to a word I say so all I will say is please be careful. I don't want to see you put yourself in an early grave.”

“Don't worry,” I told him. “I know what I'm doing.” But even I didn't believe that.

 


	9. Chapter 8

The following Friday Kyouya was working late again so I went to the club. I had been flicking through my phone and found that Ed had somehow got hold of my phone and put his number in. This guy was kind of insane but that was what I liked about him. I had sent him a text asking him when he had managed to do that. He told me he had done it while I was getting changed after he had finished cleaning me up after the fight. I clearly needed to start paying more attention to what was going on around me.

When I told Ed that I was going to be at the club that Friday he told me to come early so I could meet the rest of the guys who organised the events with him. For whatever reason, that I couldn't quite fathom, I went. I had been texting Ed a lot (when Kyouya wasn't around and I thought I could get away with it). Mostly mindless chatter but I still got a little rush when I saw his name light up on my phone. This was a bad road to be going down, I knew that full well, but I was running down it headlong anyway.

It was so early when Ed told me to get there that the club wasn't even open. Feeling stupid I knocked on the door, not expecting anyone to answer. It seemed as if Ed had been waiting for me because within seconds the door opened and Ed appeared. He beamed when he saw me, dragged me inside and shut the door.

“You came!”

“Um yeah,” I mumbled. I felt nervous. So far the only times I'd really seen Ed had been focused on something – leafleting, the fight or the clean up. Now we were just going to be hanging out and it made me nervous.

“Come with me,” he said. “There's some people I want you to meet.” He took my hand and pulled me into the club. I looked down at where his fingers linked with mine and I could feel my face heating up. I allowed myself to be pulled through the club to a room at the back. He pushed the door open and dragged me inside.

The room was large, almost like it had once been a staff room (to be fair it probably had) The two guys (I'd forgotten what they were called) I had seen fighting the first night I was there were sitting at a table playing cards, the one with the beard was now also wearing a pair of glasses. On the other side of the room Envy was stretched out on a sofa reading, what looked like, 'Lord of the Rings' in a cocoon of blankets and pillows. One of the guys playing cards suddenly let out a loud groan and threw his cards down on the table.

“God fucking damn it Hughes,” he groaned. “I swear you're cheating somehow.” The other guys just laughed.

“No you're just really shit at poker,” he said. The first guy groaned again. Envy looked up from his book.

“Would you guys keep it down, I'm trying to read.” He picked up a cushion and hurled it at the guys at the table. The one who had lost caught it, laughing.

“Aww is Al teaching you how to read?” he asked and threw the cushion back at Envy. Envy caught it, glaring at him.

“Shut the fuck up Mustang!” he snarled. Ed turned to me and grinned before clearing his throat loudly. The other three turned to look at us and I suddenly wanted to run and hide. I really didn't like people looking at me.

“Guys we have company,” he said. Envy stuck a bookmark into his book, sat up and beamed when he saw me.

“Hey new kid,” he said. “How are you doing?”

“I... I'm fine,” I mumbled.

“Glad you're back,” he said smiling at me. “I thought I might have scared you off after last week.”

“Yeah it was kind of unfair you getting stuck up against the twig on your first go,” the one with glasses (I think he was Hughes) said. The other laughed.

“Yeah we all know he cheats because he's not strong enough to fight with those chicken sticks he calls arms.”

“Shut it Mustang, I can beat you with my arms tied behind my back,” Envy said. Mustang laughed loudly.

“Please,” he snorted. “I'm way buffer than you can ever hope to be.”

“Nah bruv, check out my bazillion ab muscles” Envy grinned lifting his shirt up and exposing his chest.

“Oh god put it away,” Ed said rolling his eyes.

“Yes, please,” a voice said behind me. The guy who kind of looked a bit like Ed (who I assumed was probably his brother Alphonse, or Al as Ed had told me he preferred to be called) closed the door. He went over to Envy grabbed his shirt and pulled it down, grinning at him. “Just because I like it doesn't mean everyone else wants to see it.”

“At least you like it,” Envy said. He grabbed Al's collar and pulled him down for a kiss. Al placed a hand on Envy's thigh as he kissed him back. Hughes and Mustang groaned but neither Envy or Al seemed to care.

“Get a room,” Mustang said.

“Gaaaaaaay,” Hughes cat-called but still Envy and Al seemed to not care in the slightest. It made my chest ache. The way Envy had looked at Al, like he was the only person in the entire world that Envy ever wanted to kiss, just hit home how Kyouya had never once looked at me like that.

“Yeah guys, really don't want to have to see my brother and my best friend getting it on,” Ed said.

“So don't watch, perv,” Envy said as Al pulled away. He turned to smile at me.

“So you must be Kaoru,” he said. I must have looked like a rabbit in the headlights. He chuckled. “Brother's told me all about you.”

“Shut it Al,” Ed muttered. Al just laughed, ignoring him.

“I'm Al, his brother, in case he hasn't told you,” he said. “You already know Envy and that's Hughes, with the glasses, and Mustang.”

“Hello,” I said shyly. It was strange. I had spent so long distancing myself from people and now I was allowing Ed to thrust me into a group of them, all of them wanting to get to know me and welcome me in. I felt a little light headed. I wasn't used to this but having Ed standing next to me was a lot of help. He smiled at me and I relaxed a little.

“So what made you decide to join a fight club?” Hughes asked as Al grabbed my arm and dragged me to the sofa to sit with him and Envy. Ed came to sit next to me on the arm of the sofa, leaning back against the wall.

“What? You mean to tell me you don't believe that it was my expert leafleting skills?” he asked.

“No,” Mustang replied immediately. Ed stuck his tongue out at him and leaned back, his arm now resting on the back of the sofa just behind my head. He smiled at me, he could tell I was nervous, and I was grateful. I was starting to relax properly having him next to me.

“I thought I'd give it a go, it sounded like fun,” I said.

“You fighting again tonight?” Envy asked. I looked over at him and saw that he had linked his fingers together with Al's and my stomach clenched. Seeing them together like that just made me wish that Kyouya would show me affection like that. When we first became an official couple he used to, for show when we were around people, but that had stopped the less we went out together.

“Yeah, if there's room,” I said. Ed ruffled my hair and I felt my ears heat up.

“Sure we've got room, no problem,” he said. I bit my lip and looked up at him. I could still feel his fingers gently brushing the back of my neck and it took a lot not to lean back into his touch and silently ask for more. I was so fucked! I was already in too deep and just getting deeper and deeper every time I saw him.

“So Kaoru,” Al said breaking both me and Ed out of our silent moment. (Oh god, how long had we just been staring at each other like that?) “Tell us about yourself...”

 

“Three... two... one... fight!” Ed shouted before jumping out of the ring. From the other side Hughes grinned at me. I couldn't tell just how much he could see without his glasses but I was going to have to trust to the luck that I would just be a blur. He took a few steps towards me and went to take a swing at me. I ducked the blow and managed to get behind him. I was smaller and much lighter on my feet than he was so I was going to use that to my advantage.

Meeting him and the other had been a completely new experience but not an unpleasant one. Al had asked me a lot about myself and I had just about managed to deflect most of his questions. They were a really nice bunch of guys though. Hughes and Mustang were total goofs and Envy and Al were completely adorable together but not constantly wrapped up in each other. Then there was Ed. Ed was just something else and everything about him just made me want to be near him.

I didn't have time to think about Ed at that moment though. One wrong move and Hughes would have me beat. He already had me for size and strength and I was going to have to use my speed if I had any hope of winning. I couldn't allow myself to get distracted. I needed to stay focused if I didn't want to get my arse handed to me.

Hughes seemed to anticipate my moves and grabbed my arm as I was about to land a blow to the back of his head. He used his hold to flip me over his shoulder so that I was on my back staring up at the ceiling. Apparently I had been focusing too much on trying to stay focused because that felt like a rookie mistake and I was momentarily winded.

I just about managed to role out of the way before Hughes' elbow hit the floor of the ring just where I had been. That had been sheer luck otherwise that move would have had me. I jumped to my feet, Hughes a couple of seconds behind me, and braced myself. I felt like I was doing a lot better than I did against Envy. I still had no idea what I was doing but so far I hadn't been shoved on the floor and subjected to a ground and pound.

I took a swing at Hughes and managed to hit him with an uppercut. He seemed to be reeling slightly and I grinned. I was starting to feel good about this. I really was doing so much better than last time. Or so I thought... I was too busy celebrating actually getting a hit in I didn't notice Hughes drop the to floor until he grabbed my shirt and pulled me down. My face hit the floor and I felt Hughes' weight on top of me, pinning me onto my stomach.

He managed to get one of my arms pinned behind my back but before he could do the same with the other I jabbed it backwards into his stomach and I heard him grunt. I just about managed to wriggle free while he was distracted but he recovered quite quickly. He grabbed the back of my shirt (I really need to stop fighting in one) and pulled me back and flipped me over so I was on my back, underneath him. He pinned my arms down with his knees and I was unable to do anything. I tried wriggling but it was no use at all. I was stuck and I desperately tried to get out of Hughes' grip as Ed began the count down.

“Three... two... one...” he shouted. “The winner – Hughes!” Hughes got to his feet and Ed grabbed his wrist, lifting his arm in the air. The crowd cheered. I was still a little winded so wasn't quite up to moving yet. It wasn't until Hughes' hand appeared in front of my face. He was grinning down at me. I smiled back and took his hand. He pulled me to my feet and I didn't immediately fall over so I took that as a win.

I began to follow Hughes out of the ring but as I took a step forward I felt something give out and I fell to my knees. I felt an arm around my waist as mine was sung around someone's shoulder. I looked over to see Ed. I allowed him to pull me to my feet and out of the ring. As we left he handed the microphone to Envy, who jumped in the ring to referee the next fight, and he led me out to the changing rooms.

He put me down on a chair so my chest was facing the back of it and I leaned my elbows on top of it, exposing my back to him. I heard him open a first aid kit before I felt him start to tug my shirt off. I allowed him to pull it off and I leaned forward again. I didn't know what condition my back was in but when Ed pressed something wet to my skin I winced. Something stung like hell. I heard him chuckle softly.

“How are you doing?” he asked. I shrugged slightly.

“Not too bad, I guess,” I replied. “I mean I'm not as out of it as I was after my last fight so that's something.”

“That's true,” he said. “You're not as messed up as you were after fighting Envy. You really need to stop wearing a shirt when you fight though, most of your injuries this time are friction burns.”

“I suppose so...” I muttered. He was right and I suppose I could get away without one. The bruises I had wanted to hide were starting to fade and I had quite a few new ones from Envy and Hughes so I could get away with passing them all off as fight injuries.

“Well you did really well tonight,” Ed told me.

“I got my arse handed to me,” I replied.

“Yeah but Hughes is twice your size,” he said. “I wouldn't last that much longer in the ring with him.”

“I've never seen you in the ring before, how come?” I asked.

“I prefer refing,” he said. I chuckled.

“Really?” I asked. “Because when I first met you you talked up such a big game about being in the ring fighting so I don't believe that for a second.”

“Okay, you got me,” he laughed. He pressed the cloth to my neck, which was still in a state because of the collar. I winced. “Sorry.”

“It's okay,” I said. “So why haven't I seen you fight then?”

“I suppose you could say I have a slightly unfair advantage,” he said. I looked at him over my shoulder, furrowing my eyebrows in confusion.

“What do you mean?”

“My right arm and my left leg are made of titanium,” he told me. “I only fight against people who can handle it.”

“Like Envy and Hughes?” It suddenly occurred to me, the more I thought about it, that Ed always wore long sleeved shirts and he always wore a glove on his right hand. I had never thought about it that much – I had always been too wrapped up in my own head – but now it made sense that something was wrong.

“Exactly,” he said. I wanted to ask him. I desperately wanted to ask him how he had ended up with limbs made out of metal but I couldn't. He might well be as secretive about that as I was about myself. He chuckled softly. “Go ahead, I know you want to.”

“What?”

“Ask me how it happened,” he said. “I don't mind.”

“Okay,” I said softly. “How?”

“About ten years ago I was in a car accident and I lost my right arm and my left leg.” he said.

“Oh my god, how did that happen?” I asked.

“It was about a year after my mum died,” he told me. “We were driving to see my grandmother when this drunk driver swerved into the car. My dad was killed instantly, I lost my arm and my leg and Al ended up in a coma for about six years. I spent the first couple of months not leaving Al's bedside while the state tried to decide what to do with me.”

“Couldn't you have gone to live with your grandmother?” I asked.

“Unfortunately not,” he said. “She lived in a care home and couldn't really look after a twelve year old.”

“So what happened?” I asked.

“I was hanging around the hospital just waiting for something to happen – either for Al to wake up or for the state to ship me off somewhere – when this cop walks in. He says he's been passed the room a couple of times, never noticed any parents and asked me what my story was. I was pretty much just broken by this point so I told him everything. He said he was local and asked me if I wanted to stay with him so I could still come in and see Al. I sad yes, there was a lot of paperwork and the state being weird about it, because that's not what normal people do right? Just offer to take in a kid with no ties to them and not asking for anything in return but eventually he was made my legal guardian and that's how I met Mustang. I met Hughes a little while after that as he and Mustang worked together.”

“And Envy?”

“He lived next door,” Ed said. “When I had got the hand of walking on the piston they gave me for my leg we used to hang out a lot and do stuff. Then when Al woke up and he came to live with me and Mustang they started texting each other by accident without realising they were neighbours. Neither of the sneaky bastards told me anything for about a month until they actually started dating.”

“So how did you end up in Japan?” I asked. He seemed to have finished cleaning me up and he had placed his hands on my shoulders. They were warm, even the gloved one, and he gently began to massage my shoulders. “What are you doing?” I asked.

“You're going to seize up if you keep fighting without taking proper care of yourself,” he told me.

“But...” I began to protest. Having him clean me up after a fight was fine but this felt like too much. It felt too intimate and I became very aware of the fact that I was shirtless and still very much in a relationship with Kyouya.

“Just go with it,” Ed said softly. “If you're really uncomfortable, just tell me and I'll stop.”

“Okay,” I said. I leaned my head on my arms and allowed him to work the tension out of my shoulders. It did feel really nice, having someone look after me like this. “So how did you end up in Japan?” I asked again when the silence stretched on for too long.

“Well I was looking to get out of Germany, there were just too many memories, and I found out about this program where they were trying out attaching metal limbs that moved like real ones. So I came out here, Al and the rest of them following me because apparently I'm not to be trusted on my own in another continent, and I sighed up to it.”

“And obviously you got them,” I said.

“Yeah,” he replied. “I mean there's a lot of testing and some things are better than others and sometimes it's just painful for no reason and it sucks but I have a working arm and leg again for the first time since I was twelve so it's not all bad. I'm just the Ootori Medical Group's guinea pig for the foreseeable future.”

“The Ootori Medical Group?” I asked.

“Yeah,” he replied. “You heard of them?”

“I'm familiar,” I said.

“That sounds ominous,” he chuckled and I suddenly realised my choice of words.

“What I mean is I went to school with the guy who basically runs it now,” I said.

“Do you still keep in touch with him?” Ed asked. “Cause, if you are, seriously tell him some of his doctors need to work on their bedside manner.” I bit my lip, unsure how to answer that one. I knew I should tell him that Kyouya and I were together but there was something holding me back. I knew that he would start asking questions about what was going on between us, especially as he had seen the bruises. I knew I needed to say something though.

“Sort of, yeah,” I said. Ed chuckled.

“You don't like to talk about yourself much, do you?” he asked. I felt my ears heat up.

“Sorry,” I mumbled.

“Don't be sorry,” he said. “If you don't want talk you don't have to but talking is generally how you get to know people.” I didn't reply. I couldn't get to know people. I didn't want anyone else dragged into all the shit going on between Kyouya and I – it was bad enough that Hikaru was as invested in it as he was – I couldn't risk other people if Kyouya decided he didn't want anyone getting close to me. “Just so you know,” Ed said when he realised I wasn't going to say anything else. “I'm always here if you do want to talk.”

I could feel myself welling up again. God I spent so much time holding back tears these days. There was just something about Ed that stripped me of my mental defences and left me actually wanting to get close to another person again. To actually let someone in and know that they had the capacity to hurt me but not care because I knew they wouldn't. I took a deep breath trying to make sure I didn't just break down right there and then.

“Thank you,” I whispered, unable to make my voice any louder, desperately trying to hold back the tears that had already slowly started making their way down my face.

 


	10. Chapter 9

“So do you want to tell me what you've been doing on Friday nights recently?” Kyouya asked me one morning. I had been going to the club for about three months and I had stopped worrying about whether Kyouya was out of the house or not when I left. That was probably a dangerous move on my part but I wanted to keep going. I wanted to see Ed and the others because for the first time since the end of High School I had friends. I was starting to get better at fighting too. I still hadn't won any of my fights yet but they were getting closer and closer matches. I felt like I was getting stronger to.

“I've been going to the gym,” I said. I had been thinking about what to say if Kyouya ever asked me and this was the best thing that I could come up with. That would explain where I was and why I was getting more muscle.

“Oh really, which one?” he asked. Shit! I hadn't thought this far ahead. I hadn't expected Kyouya to be in any way interested in what I was doing even if I did tell him.

“Total Fitness,” I said. It was the only name of a gym I could think of. It sounded generic enough that it probably was the name of one of the gyms around here. I really should have thought harder about this because I was not prepared for what Kyouya said next.

“See I wondered if you would say that,” he said. “I had noticed the sports bag when you came home and that is the only gym around here that you can get to on foot.” Shit! This could go one of two ways. “I was curious so I called them and apparently you're not on their system as having a membership.” Fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!

“I use their 'Pay As You Gym' system,” I said. That was some quick thinking on my part. Thankfully Mustang and Hughes had been talking about the 'Pay As You Gym' thing and how it was so much better than actually forking out for a membership if you're a lazy bastard and only go twice a week (which I think had been a dig at Envy) so that had helped me big time.

I was feeling a little proud of myself – I shouldn't be, lying to my partner like this – but I began to feel like I was sort of out of the woods. Kyouya got to his feet and had crossed the room before I realised what was happening. The back of his hand connected with the side of my face, sending me reeling. I looked up at him, my hand reaching up to cover my stinging cheek. He had never hit me like that before. He glared down at me.

“I'm going to ask you again and I hope you're not going to lie to me again,” he growled. I stared up at him, not knowing what to say. I was still in shock. Kyouya had hurt me before but he had never hit me. “You have nothing to say to me?” he asked. I said nothing. He raised his hand again.

Before it could connect with my face I reached up and blocked the blow. I had been in more than enough fights to anticipate when someone was about to attack me and I had learned all the ways to block and counter those attacks. Kyouya stared at me, open mouthed, as I caught his wrist and glared up at him. I thought about taking a swing at him. It would have been easy and he wouldn't have been expecting it but I didn't. It would make me feel better for all of a few minutes and I didn't want to sink to his level.

“Fuck this,” I muttered. I got to my feet, letting go of his wrist. I began to make my way over to the door. I expected Kyouya to try and stop me or to do something but he didn't. I guess I had shocked him more than I had thought. I grabbed my coat. I didn't know what I was going to do but I knew that I couldn't stay in the house. I needed to get out before this got even uglier. I left, slamming the door behind me.

 

I wandered around town aimlessly. I had no idea what I was doing or what my plan was. I just knew I didn't want to go back home yet. I expected that when I did Kyouya would have a few things to say about what I had done and there would probably be hell to pay. I don't, even in his wildest dreams, think he had ever expected me to fight back. I hadn't expected to fight back but it was almost on instinct now. Like muscle memory or something... if that could even apply to a situation like this.

“Hey,” I heard a voice call. There were people all around me so I assumed that the owner wasn't talking to me and I kept walking. “Hey!” the voice called again. Still I continued to ignore it until I felt a hand come down on my shoulder. I turned round, ready for a fight on instinct as it may have been Kyouya or someone he sent to bring me home, and saw Ed panting as if he had run to catch me up.

“Ed?” I asked, confused. “What are you doing here?”

“Didn't you hear me calling?” he asked. “I saw you about two streets ago... hey, what happened to your face?” He looked shocked, his eyes zeroing in on my face, just below my left eye. I reached my hand up to brush my fingers over my skin. It stung. I drew my hand away and saw blood on my fingers. When Kyouya hit me that must have split my cheek open and I didn't feel it or notice.

“Oh...” I said softly.

“What happened?” he asked. “It looks like somebody backhanded you across the face.”

“Um...” I didn't know how to respond to that. I should probably make up something to tell him but I couldn't think properly at the moment. I was still in a mild state of shock. Ed furrowed his eyebrows as he studied me.

“Right come with me,” he said taking my hand and pulling me back the way I had been walking.

“Where are we going?” I asked.

“I'm taking you to lunch,” he said.

“Okay...”

I allowed Ed to drag me to a nearby café. He sat me down at a table in the very corner where we could talk in private and went to order us some food. I sat and waited until he came back. I didn't really know what else to do. Clearly he was going to want to talk about my face and I needed to come up with something that would sound halfway convincing otherwise that would just bring up more questions. This was beginning to get exhausting!

Ed arrived and placed a cup of coffee in front of me and a glass of water along with his own cup of coffee. He sat down. I looked at the glass of water and then looked up at Ed.

“For your face,” he said.

“Thank you,” I replied. I grabbed one of the napkins Ed had brought over and dipped it in the water. I began to clean up my face using the edge of a knife as a mirror.

“So what happened to your face?” he asked. I looked up at him and then back down at the knife.

“I tripped,” I said automatically.

“I've heard that before,” he said, “and I don't buy it for a second. I'm worried about you, so would you please just tell me what's going on.”

“I...”

“I mean we're friends, aren't we?” he asked. I thought for a moment. Ed and I were friends so I should just tell him. No... This was crazy! I couldn't tell him about Kyouya. If too many people got involved then someone was going to end up getting hurt and I couldn't risk it being him. I was thinking this over when I felt Ed's warm hand come to rest on top of mine. “Kaoru...” I took a deep breath.

“Okay,” I said. “Do you want the whole story?”

“Only if you want to tell me,” he replied. I sighed. He had told me his entire story so it was only fair that I told him mine.

“So when I was in High School I fell in love with one of my friends. He was a year older than I was and he was just perfect – smart, attractive, sweet.” I paused. If he had any comment about me revealing that I was gay he didn't say anything. “But he was in love with someone else – a girl in my year who was also one of my friends. I tried to ignore how I felt about him, push it down and make it go away, anything but seeing the two of them together was too hard. Then a guy in the year above who was a member in the same school club I was found out and he said that he could help me get over my infatuation.”

“How?” Ed asked. I gave him a pointed look. I didn't want to say out loud that I had tried to get over Tamaki by getting under Kyouya. Ed seemed to realised this. “Oh...”

“It went on for so long that eventually we just became an official couple,” I said. “It was strange though. He never told me that I had to stop seeing people I knew but it became easier for me not to. They didn't care what I had to say and they wouldn't exactly miss me if I didn't keep in touch with them.”

“Did he tell you that?” Ed asked.

“Not exactly,” I replied. “I couldn't talk to anyone about it though. The only person who I spent any time with or still saw on a regular basis was Hikaru... until recently.”

“Are you two still together?”

“Yeah,” I said looking down at the table, my hand coming up to touch the collar around my neck. I couldn't meet Ed's eye because I knew how it must look. I had been spending a lot of time with him, texting him and letting him touch me all the while still being in a relationship with someone else. I felt like the worst person in the world.

“Did he do this to you?” he asked. I felt his fingers brush against the cut on my cheek. I looked up at him and he didn't look disgusted – he just looked concerned. I could feel tears welling up and I looked away. I swallowed, pushing them down. There was no way that I could deny this now.

“He got angry,” I said.

“Please don't tell me you're defending him,” Ed said.

“It's just what happened,” I replied.

“That doesn't make it okay thought,” he said. I felt his fingers against my chin and he turned my head so that I had to look at him. “If he cares about you even the slightest bit then he wouldn't be doing this to you.”

“But...” I began.

“Kaoru you deserve someone who actually cares about you, not someone who does this to you so they can keep you submissive,” he told me. I couldn't hold the tears brimming in my eyes any longer and they slowly began to make their way down my face. I moved back slightly so that Ed and I were no longer touching and wiped them away with the back of my hand.

“I'm sorry,” I said, trying to compose myself as I tried to stop myself from just breaking down and crying even more.

“You don't have to be sorry,” he said. He reached up and took one of my hands. I could feel the cold steel underneath the glove he was wearing but I didn't care. It let me know that this was real, that someone actually cared about me and this was actually happening. He gave my hand a gentle squeeze. “You deserve so much better than this.”

And for the first time in too long I actually believed him.

 


	11. Chapter 10

Ed and I talked for most of the afternoon. I told him everything about my relationship with Kyouya and Ed listened without saying too much (although he did recoil slightly when I told him about the times that Kyouya forced me to have sex with him). He told me how fucked up the whole situation was and, for the first time, I actually believed him. I know Hikaru had been telling me that for ages but I had always told him that everything was fine. I think I just needed that objective eye who wasn't too close to either me or Kyouya to tell me.

Once we were done Ed walked me back home. I had made up my mind about what I was going to do – this time I had to leave Kyouya once and for all. I couldn't let him talk me around or do anything to stop me this time. He hit me once and there was every chance that he would do it again. It didn't matter that I was strong enough to cause him some damage if I chose to hit him back, he had still done it. Having Ed with me made me feel braver but we both thought it would be better if he left before we got too close to the house in case Kyouya saw him. The resulting argument if he thought that I was cheating on him would be even worse that it was going to be with me leaving.

I opened the door and Kyouya was nowhere to be seen. I didn't bother calling out. I thought that if I was alone then I could just pack my things and be gone. Leave him a note and have that be the end of it. I went up to the upstairs bedroom where I kept most of my things. Kyouya was still nowhere to be seen so I assumed he was out and I grabbed my bag. I began to shove things into it. I was determined to get out the there before he got home. I realised that that was wishful thinking as I heard the door squeak before it closed behind me.

“So you decided to come back after all?” Kyouya asked softly. I turned round to see him smirking at me, his hand on the closed door, looking as calm as ever as if he had expected me to be doing this.

“Kyouya...” My voice caught in my throat. Once I thought I was alone I hadn't planned on him actually being here waiting for me. He readjusted his glasses and took a step towards me. Cold fear began to rise inside me and I could feel myself shaking slightly. He smirked.

“Going somewhere?” he asked. I turned back to my bag, shoving more stuff into it.

“I'm leaving Kyouya,” I said.

“Excuse me?” he asked. I felt his breath hit the back of my neck and I realised that he was suddenly much closer than I had thought or wanted him to be.

“I...” I took a deep breath. I needed to get the words out. “I said I'm leaving you.”

I waited for him to say or do something. Nothing seemed to be happening so I began to do up the zip on my bag. I was about to pick it up when suddenly I felt one of Kyouya's hands grab my throat when the other wrapped around both of my wrists, holding them together in front of me. I struggled but his hold was strong. His hand tightened around my throat, cutting off my air and making it hard for me to breathe.

“Would you like to try and say that again?” he asked chuckling darkly. He squeezed my throat again and all that came out was a chocked gasp. He chuckled harshly again. “That's what I thought,” he practically purred. “You're mine; you belong to me and you won't leave. You need me too much.”

“No!” I gasped against his hold.

“But I love you Kaoru,” he whispered in Tamaki's voice. It was still incredibly disturbing when he did that and it made my heart skip but I clenched my teeth and pushed down the fluttery feeling in my chest. He hadn't played that trick in a while but I wasn't going to let him get to me. I took as deep a breath I could with his hand around my throat before I pulled one of my arms back as hard as I could. I wrenched my wrist out of his grasp and jabbed him in the ribs with my elbow. He grunted and let go of me.

“That doesn't work anymore!” I shouted. I rounded on him. He was glaring down at me clutching his side. He raised a hand to hit me but I caught the blow before it landed. He looked surprised – clearly he still wasn't expecting me to be able to fight back. This wasn't going to be like last time; this time I was actually going to leave and that was the end of it. There was nothing that he was going to be able to do to stop me.

This time I wasn't going to shy away from hitting him back otherwise he was going to keep pulling tricks like that. My fist connected with his jaw and he took a few steps back, reeling completely. I took the opportunity to grab my bag and leave. This was it! I was finally going to be able to leave and I could get on with my life without having to be afraid of him and what he might do anymore.

I was nearly out the door when I felt a sharp pain in the back of my head. A cry of pain escaped my lips and I dropped my bag, reaching up to grab at the source of the pain. Kyouya's hand was fisted in my hair pulling harshly. My eyes began to water and I tried to struggle against his hold but that only made it worse. No one I had fought against at the club had used tactics like this and I didn't know how to get out of with without ripping out a chunk of my hair.

Kyouya used his hold on my hair to drag me out of the room, down the corridor and into another one of the spare rooms he used as an office. As he shoved me inside he made sure to hit my head against the door frame. I felt dizzy and the world began to spin as Kyouya forced me onto my knees next to the wall. He grabbed my wrists and I felt cold, hard manacles around my wrists. I fought the urge to vomit as I felt a rushing in my head from where I had hit the door. What the fuck was he doing with manacles in his office anyway? Something cold and heavy fastened itself around my neck and I struggled against it only to have it tighten.

“I wouldn't do that if I were you,” Kyouya panted. Clearly the strain of holding me down was getting to him. “The more you struggle the tighter it will get.” He gave the chain around my neck a harsh yank for good measure. It tightened even more around my neck and I could barely breathe.

“So this is the only way you can get what you want from me?” I asked, my voice barely making a sound from the pressure on my throat. “Chaining me up so that I can't fight back?” Speaking was a huge effort and the only thing I could struggle against without making it worse (and albeit ineffectually) were the chains binding my hands. I felt Kyouya's hand in my hair again. He pulled harshly and my mouth fell open as I gasped in pain.

“I think I've had enough out of you,” he snarled. While my mouth was open Kyouya used the opportunity to shove a metal bit gag into my mouth. He fixed it tightly around the back of my head and all I could do was growl against the gag. Kyouya chuckled. “Let's see you fight back now.”

I tried to struggle away as I felt Kyouya's hand at my belt but all I achieved was a tightening of the chain around my neck. I closed my eyes tightly as he undid both my belt and my jeans and shoved his hand down the back of both to grab a handful of my backside. With his other hand he yanked my clothes down so they were around my knees. I bit down on the gag as he began to knead the flesh. He was clearly enjoying himself and, even thought I felt sick to my stomach, I was not going to give him the satisfaction of making any noise.

The sound of him undoing his zip met my ears and my entire body tensed up. That was a bad idea. I knew that if I relaxed my muscles then it would be a little easier on me but I couldn't. I couldn't hold back the scream of pain as Kyouya shoved himself into me. His fingers were digging into my hips and I was sure that I was going to be bruised tomorrow. Nothing I wasn't used to though and it was the least of my worries.

Without giving me time to adjust Kyouya began to ram in and out of me at a furious pace. I bit down on the gag, desperate to take out the pain on something and that was the only thing to hand as it were. I started counting slowly in my head as I tried to take my mind off the stinging in the base of my spine. I wanted this to be over as soon as possible but I didn't think that it would be that easy for me.

After what seemed like an eternity I felt Kyouya stiffen behind me and I felt warm flooding my insides as he came. I retched but just about managed to stop myself from throwing up. I continued to breathe through the pain and wait for him to be done. He kept thrusting so that he rode out his orgasm and finally I felt him slow down until he came to a stop. He stayed inside me for a while and I thought about struggling away and trying to inflict some damage but what could I do realistically? He had me at his mercy and there was nothing I could do about that. Finally he pulled out and, after some fumbling, I heard him zip up his trousers.

I waited. My legs were shaking and there was a chance that they would give out at any moment. I could feel his cum start to trickle down my thighs and I had to fight the urge to be sick again. I was determined not to break down, at least until he had gone. I waited for him to unlock me or take the gag off but instead I felt his hot breath hitting my ear.

“You belong to me,” he said softly. “Do you understand? If I say that you're staying here then you are staying here, do you understand?” He paused and I knew what he wanted. It took all my pride to nod my head in submission but there was nothing I could do but agree. “Good. You're mine and it's high time you realised that.”

I heard him get to his feet. His footsteps retreated and he closed the door behind him. I heard him lock it as well, apparently he thought that I needed to take some time out here to learn my lesson. I finally allowed my shaking legs to give up and I fell so that I was practically lying on the floor with my arms hung up in front of me. I felt so helpless and I just wanted it to be all over. All the shit that I had had to deal with over the last couple of years from Kyouya... I no longer cared how, I just wanted it to be over. I let tears stream down my cheeks as, somewhere in the darkest part of myself, I almost hoped that he left me chained up here forever. I'm sorry Ed...

 


	12. Chapter 11

It had been about a week since I had tried to leave Kyouya and I had been kept in the house the whole time. When Kyouya was at work he chained me up in his office so that I wouldn't try to leave again. Sometimes I was there for nearly a whole day if he was working longer than a simple eight hour day. Those were the worst as by the time Kyouya returned I was dehydrated, sick and ready to give up. It was on those days that Kyouya chose to fuck me, when there was nothing I could do to fight back.

I lost track of the days, each new one was like a waking nightmare and there was nothing I could do to escape. One day I toyed with the idea of pulling the chain around me neck as tight as it would go and just waiting for myself to not be able to breath anymore. Every time I went to do it I ended up bottling it and would have to start the process again. I had spent too long mentally preparing myself to do it that by the time I finally worked up the nerve to actually do it Kyouya had returned home and the torture started all over again.

A couple of times it crossed my mind whether someone would think about calling the police when they didn't hear from me. Having said that I knew that it was pointless to think like that. The only person who was likely to notice that I was gone was Hikaru and I had heard Kyouya on the phone to him a few times. Kyouya had made up something about me having a fever and that I would text him when I woke up. I assumed he sent texts to Hikaru from my phone to keep him at bay for a little while longer.

I was just about ready to give up completely and accept this as my lot in life until I finally did work up the guts to drink a litre of bleach or something when, one morning, I heard a knock at the door. Kyouya had let me out of the chains briefly so that I could get some feeling back into my legs (it was no fun if it didn't hurt) and I was walking passed the top of the stairs, stretching out my aching muscles. I thought nothing of it (it was probably someone for Kyouya or a door to door salesman) until Kyouya answered it and a familiar voice stopped me dead in my tracks.

“Hi, is Kaoru here?” Ed asked. My heart stopped and I had to brace myself against the wall to stop my knees from giving out. Ed had come to look for me? Oh god, he actually cared enough to come and find me! This was not going to end well. After he had left I knew Kyouya would come and take it out on me. He was going to be so angry!

“No he's not here at the moment,” Kyouya said and I could tell that he was furious, he was just hiding it really well. “I can take a message though, who is asking?”

“I'm sorry, my name is Ed,” he said. I bit my lip. Bad idea Ed – he knows your name and he knows what you look like. This is not going to end well for either of us.

“Okay, I'll tell him that you stopped by when he gets home,” Kyouya said.

“Thanks,” Ed said.

“Just out of interest how do you know Kaoru?” Kyouya asked. Oh no! This was getting worse and worse by the second. I closed my eyes and just waited for this conversation to be over and for Kyouya to come and beat his aggression out on me. I should be using this opportunity while Kyouya was distracted to try and get out of the house or something but I was frozen in place, unable to move.

“I bumped into him at the hospital a few weeks ago,” Ed said and I heard the slight hesitation in his voices. If I had heard it I was sure that Kyouya much have done. What was he doing? Now I was even more reluctant to move.

“He was at the hospital?” Kyouya asked pretending to sound concerned. “He never told me...”

“He was visiting someone, I think,” Ed said. He's really good at thinking on his feet but I'm pretty sure that Kyouya was just as good at seeing through it. I could feel myself shaking. Ed was playing an incredibly dangerous game and I knew what Kyouya was really capable of. If he found out that Ed was lying and that we had actually been friends for a while and that I had told him everything then I was sure to feel his wrath and suffer the punishment for it. It seemed as if ether way, no matter how this conversation turned out, I was going to be fucked.

“Who was he seeing?” Kyouya asked. Ed must have worked out that Kyouya was asking way too many questions to be considered appropriate or polite and he was now just lying through his teeth.

“I think he said it was his sister or someone like that,” Ed said.

“What?”

What? What is he doing? I was getting more and more confused the more I listened. What the hell was going through Ed's head? I kept toying with the idea of sneaking out of the house while Kyouya's attention was diverted and just running but I almost needed to know what Ed was going to say next. How was he going to get out of this and how was Kyouya going to react? Especially when he found out the truth.

“Hang on,” Ed said suddenly. “This is Kaoru Agamaki's house right?” Now what was he doing? This conversation was leaving me more an more confused by the second. I didn't know if I wanted to run and hide or go downstairs and hand Ed a shovel.

“No,” Kyouya said. There was a pregnant pause and I held my breath while I waited for Ed to answer.

“Oh my god,” Ed laughed softly. “I have the wrong house.”

“Pardon?”

“I'm so sorry,” Ed said. “Everywhere around here looks exactly the same.”

“That's fine,” Kyouya said and I could hear the slight edge to his voice that said it really wasn't fine but I don't know if Ed picked up on it or not “Where was it you were supposed to be going?”

“I think I'm really lost,” Ed said. “I'm looking for Cherry Blossom Park.” Kyouya chuckled and it sounded almost friendly.

“You really are lost,” he said. “That's the other side of town.” Ed groaned.

“God I'm such an idiot,” Ed said. “How do you get there?” I was sure that Ed was humouring Kyouya as he gave him the directions as I was pretty sure that Cherry Blossom Park was near where the club was. “Thank you so much, I might actually find the right place now,” he said, sighing with relief, once Kyouya had finished.

“No problem,” Kyouya said.

“Once again I'm so sorry,” Ed said. “I've made a complete idiot out of myself, haven't I?”

“It's fine,” Kyouya replied. “As you said, everything around here looks the same.”

“Thank you though,” Ed said. “I'm sorry for the trouble. Have a good afternoon.”

Kyouya closed the door and a part of me wished that I had worked up the nerve to look down the stairs and actually watch them rather than just listening. I still couldn't move. I stood rooted to the spot, trying not to collapse. I felt as if I moved then I would crack and just break, unable to do anything at all. Even when I heard Kyouya's footsteps coming up the stairs I still couldn't do anything.

It was only when I felt Kyouya standing behind me did I come back to my senses and try to run. It was too late though as Kyouya caught one of my wrists and grabbed me by the throat, shoving me face first into the wall. I struggled but his hold on my throat only tightened and it become harder for me to breath. I stiffened as I felt Kyouya's teeth graze my earlobe gently before he sucked on it.

“Looks like your little boyfriend isn't ready to give up on you just yet,” he said softly. I didn't reply and he chuckled. His tongue snaked out to lick a path up the shell of my ear. I couldn't even suppress the shiver of revulsion that ran through me. That only seemed to amuse him further. “Don't worry though,” he said, a slight hint of humour in his voice. “He will soon enough. He'll tire of you eventually, everyone else did.”

“And if he doesn't?” I asked, finally finding my voice.

“Trust me, he will,” Kyouya said.

“But...” I began to say but Kyouya gently kissing my cheek cut me off.

“There is no 'but' about this darling,” he said. “You're really not worth the trouble.”

He suddenly let go of me and left. I waited until he had closed the door to his office before I let my head fall against the wall and sunk to my knees. I was a little worried about why he hadn't dragged me back into the office to chain me up again but all the fight had gone out of me. He was right – there is no way that I was worth the trouble and Ed would figure that out eventually along with everyone else.

 


	13. Chapter 12

A few days after Ed had come to the house to find me Kyouya told me to go and find Ed and tell him that I was going to be staying where I was. I wondered if it was some kind of trick – he was letting me out of the house after he had basically kept me a prisoner for over a week. I was still sceptical though. I didn't know what he was planing through all this. He was letting me out on my own, without anyone following me, and he was just expecting me to do what he told me? I knew that I would though – it would be much worse for me if I didn't. Who knows what he would do to me? Or anyone else to find out where I had gone?

Going outside was like heaven though. I didn't even care that it was raining, just feeling the rain on my skin and breathing fresh air was wonderful. I took the long route to the club just so that I could stay outside for longer. Who knows when Kyouya would next let me out of the house on my own again. I had finally managed to get outside and gain a little bit of freedom and I was going to savour it.

When I got to the club my stomach was in knots. I knew that Ed would ask me questions about what had happened to me the past week and why I was deciding to stay with Kyouya. I didn't want to have to try and explain myself. I just wanted to say my piece and get it over with so I was determined that I had to speak first. I knocked on the door before I lost all my nerve and just ran away from it.

“Kaoru?” Ed could hardly believe his eyes when he opened the door and saw me standing there. A grin spread across his face. “Kaoru!” He threw his arms around my neck and hugged me tightly. As he hugged me the smell of his shampoo hit me and my heart skipped. My hands hung uselessly by my sides and I had no idea how I was supposed to react. Finally Ed pulled back and looked up at me. “Hey are you alright?”

“Can we talk?” I asked.

“Sure,” Ed said. He smiled at me and I felt a sharp pain in my chest. I didn't want to do this – I didn't want to go back to how things were before. Especially not when Ed took my hand and led me back into the changing rooms. He closed the door behind us. “So what did you want to talk about?”

“I...” I had no idea what I wanted to say. I hadn't thought this far ahead and now I was likely to just blurt it out. Ed took my hand again and gave it a gentle squeeze.

“Whatever it is, you know you can tell me,” he said softly. I took a deep breath.

“I can't see you anymore,” I said. Just as I expected it came out more of a garbled mess than I would have liked. Ed blinked up at me.

“Pardon?”

“I said I can't see you anymore,” I said again after a pause, this time much slower.

“Why?” he asked.

“Because I'm still with Kyouya...” I began.

“That guy who answered the door?” Ed asked.

“Yes.”

“That guy is your partner?” he asked.

“Yes.”

“This is the one who blackmailed you into sleeping with him and hasn't stopped treating you like shit ever since you got together?” he asked. I bit my lip. I had no answer for that. He took my silence as a yes. “And you're telling me that you're staying with him?” he added.

“Yes,” I said, my voice quiet and small.

“You're making a huge mistake,” he said shaking his head.

“I don't have a choice,” I told him. “You don't know what he's like.”

“Then why don't you tell someone,” Ed said. “The police... anyone that could actually do something about it.”

“They won't believe me,” I said, my voice cracking. Didn't he think I had thought of this before? Of course I had thought about going to the police but Kyouya had so much influence everywhere that it would stretch to them as well. I never stood a chance of being able to talk to somebody.

“You don't know that,” Ed said.

“And you have no idea what Kyouya is capable of,” I said. “Hell, I don't even know! He can just make things happen.”

“And this is exactly why you need to leave him!”

“What exactly am I going to do if I do?” I asked. “Kyouya has been such a huge part of my life for so long and I don't have anywhere else to go. I don't know what I'm supposed to do if I leave.”

“You have people you can turn to,” he said. “You trusted me enough with this and what about your family?”

“I don't want other people to get hurt because of me,” I said. I could feel tears pricking the corners of my eyes but I was determined not to break. I couldn't because if I did I had no idea if I would be able to put myself back together again.

“Well you need to do something,” he said. “You need to get out of this relationship before it kills you and I'm not just saying that because I love you.”

“What?”

Did I just hear that right? Did he actually just tell me that he loved me? How could he possibly love me? He groaned in frustration and let his head drop before he looked up at me and I couldn't tell what was going through his head.

“Damn, I kind of wanted that to come out better than it did,” he said. “But, yeah, I love you and I have done for a while now... if that makes any difference.”

“What?” I asked again. “How? When?”

“When I first saw you I thought you were absolutely stunning and I wanted to see you again,” he explained. “Then you came to the club and I was so happy because I got to see you and I was even lucky enough to talk to you for a bit. Then I got to know you and I fell even harder. When you told me about all the shit that this Kyouya guy has done to you I felt for you. I couldn't bare to see you like that.”

“I don't need your pity,” I said. I still couldn't quite believe what I was hearing. Ed was in love with me? All this time I had been thinking the exact same thing about him. I had known it was wrong to keep thinking about him but I hadn't been able to stop myself. There was just something about him that made me not want to give up.

“I don't,” he said taking hold of my hand. “You have no idea how brave you are.”

“I'm not...” I said softly.

“Yes you are,” he said smiling at me. “Despite everything that he has done to you, you are still here. So many people would have given in by you're still here.”

“But...” It wasn't bravery, it was fear I wanted to scream but I couldn't. He squeezed my hand.

“You are one of the bravest people I have ever met and I love you,” he said.

Before I could say anything else he took hold of the front of my jacket and pulled me down into a kiss. I was so shocked that I just stood there, eyes wide and hands hanging uselessly by my sides. Ed pulled back and stared at me. I didn't know what to do. I was frozen in place, still trying to process what had just happened. I should do something – anything would do – but I needed to make some kind of move before Ed took me doing nothing as a rejection.

Slowly the hope started to leave his eyes and I realised I had to do something because, god, I loved him too! Everything that he had said about how he felt about me I felt about him too. I had already failed to tell someone that I loved them and I wasn't about to do it again. Ed's hands dropped from the front of my jacket and he let his head fall forward, staring at the floor. Fuck! I needed to do something and now.

“Ed...” I said softly. I took hold of his hand and he looked up at me again. “I love you too.” A smile spread across his face and his eyes lit up. He wrapped his arms around my neck and pulled me close until we were nose to nose.

“Then stay with me,” he said. I placed my hands on his hips. I wasn't sure what to do in this situation because Kyouya had never really shown me affection. He had never treated me gently – all he was interested in was getting what he wanted from me – and now I had no idea what I was supposed to do.

“I want to,” I said “but...” Ed kissed my lips softly to stop me mid-sentence.

“Whatever you're going to say, don't worry,” he told me. “We can keep you safe, I'll look after you and you won't have to be scared of him anymore. Just stay with me and don't go back to him.”

“You don't know what he's capable of,” I said. “If I left him now he would know you had something to do with it. He would do something, I don't know what, but he would find a way to try and get me back.”

“Then leave with us,” Ed said. “We're not planning on staying in Japan for much longer. When we go, come with us.” If I did I would never have to worry about Kyouya again! I know it would be hard on Hikaru if I left with little explanation but in the end he would understand. If I wasn't in the country then there was no way anyone would be able to fine me unless I wanted them to.

“I...” I couldn't make my mouth work. There was too much at stake on this.

“Just say yes,” Ed said. I wanted to, I really wanted to. If he had said they were leaving tomorrow then I wouldn't hesitate but I didn't think I should take the chance that Kyouya would retaliate. That being said having Ed in front of me, touching me and telling me that he loved me, made logical thinking really difficult. I closed my eyes and leaned my forehead against his, already knowing my answer.

“Yes,” I said. “God yes! This is probably the worst idea in the world but I don't care. I love you.”

“I love you too,” Ed said, “and I don't plan on letting you go any time soon.” Hearing these words made my heart ache and skip at the same time. I'd forgotten how it had felt to have someone say that to me and actually mean it.

I leaned down ever so slightly and pressed my lips to his in a soft hiss. Ed wasted no time kissing me back, tightening his arms around my neck and running his fingers through my hair. I wrapped my arms properly around his waist, pulling him close and reminding myself that this was real. I felt him gently nibble my bottom lip and I opened my lips, gasping softly. Ed used this opportunity to slip his tongue into my mouth, massaging it against mine.

My head was spinning and I felt heady as his tongue traced the underside of mine. I moaned softly into his mouth. Ed was an amazing kisser and I was quickly becoming addicted to him. I felt his fingers moving from around my neck and on to my shoulders, underneath my jacket. He began to push my jacket off. I let go of him for a moment and let my jacket fall to the floor. I wasn't thinking straight; all I was thinking about was Ed's lips against mine.

His hands began to slowly travel down from my shoulders, over my back to my waist. I stiffened as he slipped his metal hand underneath the hem of my t-shirt and it wasn't because of the cold. I would have thought that I would have been alright with this – Ed was so gentle and so different from Kyouya that I would have been able to deal with him touching me like this. However when Ed's fingers brushed my skin I couldn't stop the memory of the last time Kyouya had chained me down and forced himself on me.

I pulled back sharply, breaking the kiss and taking myself out of Ed's hold. I was breathing heavily (partially from the kiss and partially from the memory). I looked up at Ed and I felt awful when I saw the hurt in his eyes. He took a step towards me and I had to stop myself from recoiling. I had to keep reminding myself that this was Ed not Kyouya.

“I'm sorry,” I said. “I...” I felt Ed's hand on my shoulder and he softly kissed my cheek.

“It's okay,” he said and he seemed to understand why I was reacting like this. “We don't have to do anything if you don't want to.” When he said that it just made me want him even more. I took his hand.

“I do though,” I told him.

“Well,” he said, a playful smile playing about his lips. He took a step away from me and stripped off his shirt. “How about you take the lead and we won't do anything you're not comfortable with.”

“But I've never done anything like that before...” I said.

“What I mean,” he said, “is you set the pace and I'll follow. Okay?”

“Okay,” I said. I couldn't focus properly and I found myself tripping over my thoughts. I couldn't take my eyes off Ed's body. I had expected him to be muscular but he was on another level of toned. His chest was all hard muscle and curves and I wanted to run my hands all over him, from the waistband of his jeans up to where his metal arm joined at his shoulder. He took a step towards me and I tentatively reached up to place my hand on his chest.

I had no idea what I was doing. I was terrified and excited at the same time and I began tracing both my hands over his chest just to prove to myself that he was real. A soft gasp left Ed's lips as I brushed my fingers over one of his nipples. I hadn't meant to but the reaction was nice. I stopped my movements suddenly. Ed placed one of his hands over mine and gave it an encouraging squeeze.

“Don't stop,” he said.

“Okay,” I replied.

I swallowed. I really had no idea what I was doing but the way Ed gasped softly when I touched him was like music to my ears. I brushed my fingers over his nipple again. That earned me another soft gasp. While I was focused on his chest Ed slipped his hands under my t-shirt again, his fingers gently brushing my skin. I felt more at ease this time; with me eyes open and being able to see that it was Ed standing in front of me it was easier to block out all the awful memories of Kyouya.

“Is this alright?” he asked, his voice barely above a whisper, as he began to slowly lift my shirt up.

“Yeah,” I replied and he lifted my shirt off completely. He let my shirt fall to the floor once it was off and he reached up to run his hands over my chest. His fingers were so gentle as he traced my bruises and cuts. My eyes were glued to his face, watching his reaction but he didn't seem to flinch as he touched them. He was looking at me like I was the most beautiful thing in the world and it was making me uncomfortable but at the same time it wasn't. I just wanted to have his hands on me and to keep him looking at me like that.

I reached over and brushed his fringe out of his stunningly beautiful eyes and leaned down to kiss him. As we kissed I reached over and pulled the tie out of his hair, releasing it from his ponytail and letting it fall about his shoulders. I ran my fingers through it. It was so soft it felt like silk and he let out a soft whimper as I gently massaged his scalp. He slipped a hand into my back pocket and gave my backside a gentle squeeze. I let a whimper of my own sound from my throat at his touch.

I felt like a scared teenager during their first time, having no idea what to do but knowing that I wanted to do something. The only experience that I had had with this kind of stuff was with Kyouya (and I certainly didn't want to do that to Ed) or from the minimal porn I had watched (that wasn't a feasible choice either). I just wanted this to be amazing but I was freaking out because I had no idea what I was supposed to be doing.

“Are you okay,” Ed whispered as he pulled back slightly.

“I'm okay,” I said. “Just nervous.” He laughed softly.

“Don't be nervous,” he said. “You know you can stop whenever you want to.”

“Okay,” I replied. My voice was more breath than word and I was still feeling a little light headed.

He reached down and began to undo his belt and jeans. He kicked his shoes off as he slipped his jeans down, revealing strong legs (his left made of the same metal as his arm) and took them off so the only thing left on him was his boxers. I swallowed as I took in the sight of Ed in nothing but his underwear, my heart beating faster. I took this as my cue to reach down, with trembling fingers, to undo my own jeans and I took them off, kicking my shoes off as I did. Soon both of us were standing in only our boxers.

I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him into a deep kiss. As our tongues rubbed against each other his hands slipped into my boxers and he gave my cock a few pumps. I groaned into his mouth and I felt lust beginning to flow through me. I was hard and I wanted him. I trailed my hands down his chest and into his boxers. I pushed them down so that his cock was free and I felt him do the same to me.

With his flesh hand he took hold of both my cock and his and began to pump them. The friction was amazing and I could already feel my knees beginning to weaken. I gripped onto his hips and let my head fall against his shoulder, desperately trying to hold it together. My breathing was speeding up as he began to pump faster and he seemed to be in the same state as I was. I looked into his eyes, they were cloudy and there was a light sheen of red dusting his cheeks. He was beautiful and I felt myself getting closer and closer to my end.

“You close?” Ed asked breathlessly.

“Yeah,” I panted.

“Together?”

“Yeah,” I replied. Ed continued pumping, speeding up his strokes. Before I knew what was happening I was cumming; my stomach contracted and the coil that had been winding itself tighter and tighter inside me released. Ed came seconds later, panting and sweating. I pressed my forehead against his as the both of us rode out our high and tried to catch our breath.

“Wow...” he panted.

“Yeah...” I replied in kind. I didn't know what to say, my mind had gone completely blank from my orgasm and from just having Ed in front of me.

“I didn't push you too much, did I?” he asked.

“No,” I replied.

“Stay with me,” Ed said smiling at me. I couldn't help but smile back.

“Okay,” I said. I thought for a second. “Wait what about everything I have at Kyouya's place?” Ed shrugged.

“We can worry about that later,” he said. “For now I think we should clean up before someone finds us and then go for a shower and get some sleep.”

“Okay,” I said. “I just need to figure out where I'm supposed to go from here. Like I have no idea where I'm even going to live.”

“Here,” Ed said. “You're going to stay with me in my room for as long as you want. The rest we can figure out later.”

“Okay,” I said unable to stop the grin spreading across my face.

 


	14. Chapter 13

I never went back to Kyouya's. Ed said he wasn't going to let me go through that just in case Kyouya was there and tried something to make me come back to him. Envy, Hughes and Mustang took my keys and went to get some things from the house that I knew I was going to need. I also gave Envy the collar Kyouya made me wear and told him to leave it somewhere Kyouya would find it. Probably a bad move on my part but I wanted him to know that I was leaving. I had no idea if they did run into Kyouya or not but I told them when he was likely to be at work so the chances of them seeing him were small (unless they wanted to 'have a word with him' and I wasn't ruling that out).

Living with Ed and the others was such a contrast from living with Kyouya. I didn't have to watch what I was doing or what I said. I could come and go as I pleased and I felt more at ease now that I was away from Kyouya. Ed was affectionate, sweet, he never pushed me into doing anything I didn't want to and he even got on well with Hikaru. Once I had been living with him for a few days Ed insisted Hikaru come and meet them so he knew just who it was that I was now going to be living with.

Hikaru had been wary at first and I could understand why, considering the last person I had decided to live with. After a game of cards and grilling Ed on his intentions, Hikaru seemed happy with Ed and the others. More than anything I think he was happy that I was away from Kyouya and that I was happy. When he left at the end of the night he hugged me tightly and said how glad he was to see me smiling again. All in all I felt better in myself – it was like I was in this little bubble of elation and nothing was going to burst it. It felt as if as long as I was with Ed then everything was going to be alright.

The only thing that was worrying me somewhat was the fact that I had heard nothing from Kyouya at all. I had been living with Ed for about two weeks now and Kyouya hadn't once tried to contact me at all. Not that I wanted him to I just had expected him to do something to try and make me go back to him. I did voice this when I became too nervous about the prospect to even think straight and every time I did Ed would kiss me and tell me that everything was going to be alright. Whenever he said that I always believed him – I mean it was Ed, he had never been wrong before and he made me feel safe.

It was one morning, when we were having breakfast, that the thought suddenly occurred to me again. It was when Ed announced that he had to go into hospital to have a final operation on his arm. At first I thought nothing of it but then I remembered that the Ootori Medical Group were the ones responsible for his metal limbs.

“Are you sure you're going to be okay?” I asked Ed quietly so that only he would be able to hear me.

“I'll be fine,” he replied placing his flesh hand on top of mine. “It's just a routine operation; I'll be in and out in a day and it'll be over before you know it.”

“Are you going to be awake for it?” I asked.

“Nope.” Ed shook his head. “Not allowed to be. It's a complicated procedure, even though it's routine, and it hurts like hell when the drugs wear off so I don't think I'd even want to be awake for it.”

“Nothing you haven't done before though, right Brother,” All said smiling at him.

“Exactly,” Ed said and he gave my hand a squeeze. “I can handle this no problem.”

“Are they doing anything to your leg at all?” Envy asked.

“Not that I know of,” Ed replied. “Why?”

“Just wondered,” Envy shrugged. “Didn't know if they were going to give you a couple more inches or something.”

“Well he could certainly do with it,” Mustang grinned. Ed glared at him and Hughes chuckled.

“Yeah the metal limbs are the reason why he's so short,” he said sarcastically.

“What did you say?” Ed growled.

“I'm just messing with you kid,” Hughes laughed. “You can't help being so short.”

“You're all just freakishly tall,” Ed mumbled.

“You're not that much shorter than I am,” I said lacing my fingers with his.

“See this one is nice to me,” he said nodding his head at me. “Unlike the rest of you fuckers.”

“I'm sorry I couldn't hear that from all the way down there,” Hughes smirked. Ed glared at him and pouted before turning to me. I must have looked more nervous than I thought despite all the joking around because he looked at me with concern. “Are you okay?”

“I'm just nervous,” I said. He smiled at me and gave my hand another squeeze. “Kyouya's family practically owns that Group and I don't want anything to happen to you.”

“Nothing is going to, I promise,” he said, rubbing small circles on the back of my hand with his thumb. I bit my lip.

“I know but I'm still worried that Kyouya hasn't done anything to try and make me go back to him,” I said. Ed leaned over and kissed my lips softly.

“Don't worry,” he said. “Everything is going to be fine, I promise.”

 

“Hey,” Mustang said breaking the silence in the room. “Come sit down.” He patted the seat next to him and I went to sit down. I stared out at the crowded waiting room. I was so nervous I couldn't focus on anything. Ed had gone in for the operation on his arm and Mustang had gone to wait for him to come out. He had asked if I wanted to go with him but I had a sneaking suspicion that he was now regretting his decision.

I had spent most of the time pacing up and down the waiting room because I couldn't relax. I was tense and on edge. The only thing I could think about was Ed and how things were going. A few times my thoughts would change to Kyouya and wondering if he was going to use this as an excuse to do something to Ed. If anything happened to him in there that was Kyouya's doing and was because of me then I was never going to be able to forgive myself. I had to keep telling myself it was just a routine operation. Ed hadn't been worried before he went in and I really shouldn't be worried now but I was completely falling apart.

The door of the waiting room opened and I had to stop myself from jumping out of my seat as a doctor stepped out. He called out a name of someone who wasn't Ed and a family of four sitting across from us got up. I sighed, my entire body sagging as they followed the doctor through the door into the recovery ward.

“Oh god!” I mumbled to myself as I put my face in my hands. I felt a hand on my shoulder and I looked up to see Mustang smiling at me.

“He's going to be fine,” he said.

“I'm just so nervous,” I replied twisting the hem of my shirt between my fingers. “I mean what if something goes wrong and it's all my fault.”

“Firstly this is a routine operation, there is a one in a million chance that something will go wrong,” Mustang said. “Secondly, if it did how would it be your fault?”

“I don't know,” I said. “I guess I'm just still worried that Kyouya is suddenly going to turn around and try to fuck with my life again. I don't want Ed to get caught up in the middle of it and end up getting hurt.”

“You can't spend your entire life looking for Kyouya over your shoulder,” he said. “You moved out, you don't have to worry about him anymore.” He slung an arm around my shoulder and pulled me close. I rested my head on his chest.

“I know,” I said. “I just want Ed to come out of this.”

“And he will,” Mustang said.

The door to the waiting room opened again and the doctor stepped out. I was on the edge of my seat and I could feel every single muscle in my body tense up. He looked down at the clipboard in his hand and then looked up, addressing the room.

“Edward Elric?” he asked. I jumped to my feet and Mustang stood up beside me. We went to meet the doctor. I could feel myself shaking as he looked down at his clipboard again. “Well the operation was a success,” he said. “He's just recovering at the moment but if he can eat something and keep it down within the next hour or so you can take him home.”

“Thank you Doctor,” Mustang said.

“Can we go in and see him?” I asked a little tentatively.

“Of course you can,” the doctor said. “He's still a little woozy so don't be surprised if he falls asleep while talking but it might wake him up faster.”

“Thank you Doctor,” Mustang said again and lead me into the recovery ward. As soon as we were though the door I spotted Ed's bed almost immediately. I had to stop myself from running over to his side. I sat down in the chair next to his bed and took hold of his hand. Slowly he opened his eyes and smiled at me.

“Hey,” he said softly.

“Hey you,” I smiled. “How are you feeling?”

“Like I've been hit by a truck,” he said. “I hate anaesthesia.”

“Does it suck?” I asked.

“Just a little,” he replied.

“But other than that?”

“I'm great,” he grinned lucidly. “I've had a snooze, my arm's all fixed up and I'm getting a sandwich in a minute. Hey Mustang,” he said looking over my shoulder.

“You feeling alright, Ed?” he asked.

“I'm great,” he said. “Can I come home yet?”

“The doctor said once you've had your sandwich you should be good to go,” he said. Ed nodded, smiling sleepily.

“Awesome,” he replied. “I think I'm gonna take a quick nap... will you be here when I wake up?”

“Of course I will,” I said and gave his hand a squeeze.

“Love you,” he said closing his eyes.

“Love you too,” I said. I leaned over and kissed his forehead softly, not even caring that we were in the hospital owned by Kyouya's family and he could be anywhere. Mustang was right. I couldn't spend my life worrying about Kyouya. I had Ed to think about now and as soon as he was able to we would be out of here and home as soon as possible.

 


	15. Chapter 14

Ed recovered quickly and Mustang and I were able to take him home. He was still out of it for pretty much the rest of the day, much to the amusement of Envy and Hughes, but I didn't care. He was awake and he was alive and that made me happier than anything. Now I really felt as if we were both going to be safe from Kyouya and he had no hope of using Ed to get back at me. If anything had happened to him I don't know what I would have done either – there would have been nothing I could have done to prove it was Kyouya and losing Ed would have been awful.

“Hey,” Ed said the following Friday morning while we were still in bed. “I think you and I should get in the ring tonight.”

“What?”

“I think you and I should throw down in the ring tonight,” he said again.

“Are you crazy?” I laughed, ruffling his hair.

“No I'm totally serious,” he replied grinning. He got up and straddled my hips so that he was grinning down at me.

“You just had major surgery,” I said giving his hair a gentle tug. “This is probably one of the worst ideas you have ever had.” Ed teased his bottom lip with his teeth and began to run his fingers through my hair.

“It wasn't that major,” he said.

“They put you under general anaesthetic,” I said running my hands up his thighs. “I'd call that major.”

“Fine,” Ed said rolling his eyes. “I'm alright though, I feel so much better now.”

“And your way of feeling better is to get in the ring with me?” I asked.

“Yeah,” he replied. “I mean if I don't get back on it them I'll get all squishy.” I laughed, rolling my eyes.

“Cause you're already so fat,” I stated sarcastically. “But if you really want to do this then I'm up for it.”

“I really want to do this,” he said.

“Okay then,” I said smiling at him. This was how easy it was being with Ed. I was able to talk about things with him and he would listen to me if I was worried about something. “You realise you're going to have a hugely unfair advantage.” I gently tapped the top of his metal arm.

“I think you can handle it,” he said shrugging.

“Really?”

“Yeah,” he replied. “Besides we've done everything else now so we might as well.”

“Okay,” I smiled at him.

“You know you have your own hugely unfair advantage to,” he said grinning at me.

“Oh yeah?” I asked raising an eyebrow at him.

“Yeah,” he replied. “This...” He leaned down, lacing his fingers through my hair, and kissed me deeply.

“Oh...” I gasped softly as he pulled back. “That advantage.” He grinned playfully before leaning down to kiss me again, slipping his tongue passed my lips. I tangled my fingers in his hair and kissed him back, relishing having him there in front of me.

 

“On this side we have our brand new little rising star; Kaoru,” Envy said into the microphone, showing me off to the cheering audience. “And on this side we have lazy arse, only fights when he feels like it; Ed!”

“Alright don't go overboard,” Ed said pulling a face at him. Envy just grinned and turned to the audience.

“We're going to see a good fight tonight so get your bets in first. You ready guys?” he asked looking at me and Ed. We both nodded, keeping our eyes locked on each other. “Okay; three... two... one... fight!”

Envy jumped out of the ring and the crowd cheered as Ed and I took a step towards each other. I had been in enough fights now and Ed had been sparing with me so I had picked up a few techniques. Ed took a swing at me with his metal arm and I was able to easily duck it. Not only that I was able to block the blow he had been hoping to land with his flesh arm while I was preoccupied. He grinned at me as he blocked the blow I sent back his way. Thanks to his training the two of us seemed to be pretty evenly matched.

I was able to block most of the blows he sent my way or I was able to dodge them. I managed to get a few hits in myself and, unlike some of the other fights I had been in, I actually knew what I was doing. I was able to calculate what his next move was going to be and work out where his weak points was. For the first time since I had first come here and fought Envy I wasn't going to get my shit handed to me.

“You ready to give up yet?” Ed asked grinning at me. He had just sent me reeling with a kick to the stomach.

“Not a chance,” I panted, grinning up at him. “You sure you don't want to give up yet?”

“No way,” he replied. “This is too much fun.”

He was right. This was one of the most fun fights I had ever been in and I think that was because I was fighting Ed. I don't know if it was just me but it felt as if there was a charge between the two of us as we fought, almost like we were moving as one. Maybe I was just being overly sentimental but either way it seemed as if it was going well. Both Ed and I locked eyes again, panting heavily. I was about to take a step forward to take another swing when Ed's grin suddenly faded. He blinked a couple of times before he fell forwards to the floor.

“Ed?” I said as the cheers around us began to die down. He didn't move. “Ed!” I ran over to him and rolled him onto his back and tilted his head up. All of the first aid I had learnt in school was hopefully going to come in useful. I leaned down so that my ear was next to his mouth, hoping against hope that I would see or hear something. “He's not breathing...”

“Someone call an ambulance!” Envy shouted from behind me. The entire club seemed to be in an uproar but all I could focus on was Ed lying, unconscious in front of me. I tilted his head back and opened his mouth. I took a deep breath before I placed my mouth over his and breathed as much air as I could into his lungs before pounding on his chest. Al appeared at my shoulder.

“Ambulance is on its way,” he said. I began the cycle of CPR a few more times, speeding up. I could feel my eyes welling up as I repeated the process a few times but nothing seemed to be happening.

“Come on Ed,” I panted as I began pounding on his chest for what was probably the seventh or eight time, tears streaming down my face by that point. “Please open your eyes. Please don't leave me like this.”

I didn't know how long I continued with CPR. All my attention was focused on Ed, just willing for a miracle and for him to suddenly open his eyes and be fine. I could barely see for the tears in my eyes and it was becoming harder for me to breath as I tried to choke back the sobs. I just wanted him to wake up! I felt someone tugging at my shoulder but I shook them off, not wanting to let go of Ed. The person was persistent, though, and a lot stronger than I was and eventually they managed to pull me away from Ed.

“Let the paramedics do their job,” Envy told me, shoving me into another pair of strong arms that held onto me and stopped me from running back to Ed's side, while he went to keep Al from doing the same thing.

“Ed!” I sobbed as I fought against the hold but it only got tighter. The person holding me grabbed one of my wrists to try to get me to stop struggling.

“Kaoru calm down,” Mustang told me. “The paramedics are doing everything they can for Ed.” I stopped struggling and sagged against his chest, watching the paramedics as they pulled out a defibrillator. All I could do was stare as they continued to do something to try to get him to regain consciousness. It wasn't until they both seemed to stop and take a step away from him that I began struggling against Mustang's hold on me. Then entire club seemed to be holding its breath, just watching Ed and waiting to see what would happen next. One of the paramedics pulled out a watch and I felt all my blood run cold.

“Time of death: eleven forty-two,” he said.

It took a second for that to sink in. No... no, no, no, this couldn't be happening. Ed couldn't just not be there anymore. He couldn't be gone...

I never found out whether the scream of agony at those words actually came out of my mouth or whether it just tore me apart from the inside out but all I really remembered after that was breaking down into sobs as Mustang held me tightly, tears beginning to fall down his own face.

 


	16. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the final chapter and end of the story (tomorrow is a bonus chapter that has a decidedly more lighthearted feel), there are no happy endings here I'm afraid.
> 
> ~ Holly

I stayed with Al and the rest of them for a few days after Ed died but I couldn't handle being alone in the place where I had stayed with him. Also it didn't feel right; I felt as if I was intruding on something private. They were his family – I was just someone who had just appeared and thrown everything into chaos. I told Mustang that I was going to go and stay with Hikaru for a while until I found something more permanent. He tried to get me to reconsider but ultimately he respected my decision.

Hikaru tried to help me as best he could but I spent most of the time when he was out of the house crying so I might have been beyond help by that point. I got a message from Al inviting me to the funeral. That had just served as a brand new reminder that Ed was gone and there was nothing I could do to change that.

Occasionally, when I thought about it, I thought that Kyouya must have done something to Ed while he was under anaesthesia or got one of the doctors to do something. I mean healthy people don't just suddenly drop dead with no explanation, do they? Seeing as I never heard anything in the papers or on the news about Kyouya being tried for malpractice or anything so I assumed that I was wrong. I guess sometimes things like that do just happen.

The day of Ed's funeral was one of the hardest days I'd ever had to get through. I sat and listened to the priest at the front talking and tried to stop myself from breaking. I wished that it was me up there in that coffin instead of Ed. It should have been me...

The service drew to a close and a set of curtains drew around Ed's coffin. I let out the breath I had been holding before heaving myself to my feet. I filed outside with the rest of the congregation. It seemed as if most people from the club had shown up; that didn't surprise me, Ed was well liked. When I stepped out into the dreary mid-morning light I felt a gentle had on my shoulder.

“Hey,” Envy said smiling at me as I turned to face him. “How are you holding up?”

“I'm okay,” I said, shrugging. “How's Al?”

“As good as can be expected,” he replied. “He's just talking to the priest at the moment, some legal stuff I think.”

“Okay,” I said.

“Why didn't you come and sit with us?” he asked. “Can't have been a great time for you sitting by yourself.”

“I don't know,” I shrugged. My voice was thick from trying not to cry. “Just didn't feel right, I suppose.” Envy opened his mouth to say something but seemed to think better of it and closed it. He sighed.

“So what are you going to do now?” he asked.

“I have no idea,” I replied. I looked over towards the road and saw a car waiting that made my heart sink. I wasn't totally sure but it certainly looked like Kyouya's car. Envy looked in the direction of the car before turning back to me.

“Well you know you can stay with us,” he said.

“Thank you,” I said “but I don't think I should.”

“Why not?”

“Because I don't want anyone else to get hurt because of me,” I said. Envy sighed and shook his head.

“You don't always have to do all of this on your own,” he said. “Just let us help you.” I cast a glance back over at the car. This time I saw the window roll down and I locked eyes with Kyouya. He smirked at me and readjusted his glasses. I knew then that there was no chance I was ever going to be free from him. I slipped my hand into my coat pocket, pulled out a letter that I had written the night before and handed it to Envy.

“Can you give this to Al for me please?” I asked. Envy looked at the letter and then looked up at me.

“What do you mean?” he asked.

“I think I should probably get going,” I said and I couldn't stop myself glance in the direction of the car. Envy noticed this immediately and his eyes narrowed as he turned back to stare at me. Clearly he had guessed that it was Kyouya in the car.

“No,” he said. “Please don't tell me you're going back to him, after everything he did to you.” I could feel my eyes welling up and I had no idea how I was going to be able to put it into words what was going through my head.

“I don't have a choice,” I said, my voice barely above a whisper.

“Yes you do,” Envy told me. “Don't let everything that Ed did to build up any kind of confidence that you might have had just go out of the window. Don't let this guy win. If you do he will destroy you.”

“I can't drag you guys any further into my mess than you already are,” I said. I turned to leave but Envy grabbed my arm.

“Kaoru, please don't do this,” he said.

“I'm sorry,” I said and gently tugged my arm out of his grasp. I turned and, without looking back at him, I made my way over to the car. The closer I got to the car the more it felt like a death sentence. I could feel myself shaking but I knew I had to stay strong. As I reached the car Kyouya stepped out and smirked down at me.

“So you've decided to come back?” he asked.

“Do I really have a choice?” I countered. Kyouya chuckled darkly. He reached over and brushed my fringe out of my eyes. The gesture to anyone else was almost tender but I knew better than to trust him.

“Oh Kaoru,” he said. “Of course you didn't. You were always going to come back to me. One way or another I always get what I want and I always get what's mine.”

“What did you do to Ed?” I asked.

“Excuse me?”

“I know you did something to him,” I said, “and I'm not going anywhere until you tell me what.” Kyouya snorted.

“Well look at you suddenly getting a spine,” he said.

“Tell me what you did,” I said again. Kyouya laughed and leaned close to my ear so that only I would hear him.

“Nothing you'll ever be able to prove,” he said.

I froze. I was right! He had done something to Ed and that means that I was the reason that he was dead. All the fight went out of me. I couldn't bring myself to do or say anything because I was hit with the realisation that I was never going to be free from him. I couldn't risk anyone else getting hurt because of me and the only way I was going to do that was by going back with him and staying with him.

“Remember this?” Kyouya asked. He reached into his coat pocket and pulled out the collar he had fitted me with the first time. It hung off the tip of his finger and I could almost feel it around my neck, weighing me down and making it hard for me to breath. Kyouya chuckled again. “Nothing to say to me?”

“Nothing for me to say,” I said.

“Just how I like it,” he smirked, running his fingers through my hair and rubbing the back of my neck.

Kyouya took the collar and fastened it around my neck. He pulled it tightly and I chocked. He laughed softly, loosening it and fastening it properly, almost as if that was supposed to serve as a warning. It really didn't need to. The pure and simple fact that he had just told me that he had done something that made Ed suddenly drop dead like that just because he got close to me served as a warning enough. I took a deep breath and tried to stop myself from crying.

“Are we going then?” I asked. I fiddled with the collar. It was strange having something around my neck again. I had gotten used to not having it there but now I was constantly aware of it and it felt like a death sentence.

“All in good time,” he said. “Why don't you take one last look at your so called 'friends', it's the last time you're ever going to see them. In fact I'd say this is going to be the last time you set foot outside for a very long time.”

“You can't keep me locked up forever,” I said. I wanted to sound like I was challenging him but my voice came out small and weak because that's what I was. I was weak. Without Ed standing by my side I felt like there was nothing I could do to stop him or to get away from him. I was trapped.

“I think you'll find I can,” he said smiling at me as if we were discussing something mundane like the weather. “Now why don't you get in the car like the good little pet that you are and maybe I'll reward you when we get home?”

I opened the car door, feeling sick to my stomach, and was about too get in when I turned to take one last look behind me. As I turned I saw Envy standing exactly where I had left him. We locked eyes and I could guess that he had been watching the entire conversation. He looked furious so I was sure that he had seen Kyouya fit me with the collar and maybe even heard what he had said to me.

'I will get out out of there.' I could see his lips moving but whether he actually spoke or not I didn't know.

'I'm sorry' I mouthed back. I turned away and got in the car. I seriously doubted he would be able to. This was where I was going to stay now. I only saw one way out of this situation but I would have to build up to be able to do that. Kyouya placed his hand on my knee as the car pulled away and gave it a squeeze. I swallowed down my revulsion and stared out of the window, my mind made up.

I guess I'll be seeing you soon Ed...

 


	17. Bonus Chapter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys, Holly here. This is a lot sillier than the rest of this fic, basically an explanation for a crack ship that was a side to the madness.

**[9:45pm] Hey sexii wot u wearin** **?**

[9:48pm] Considering I'm in bed reading Lord of the Rings and my phone doesn't recognise this number I'm going to go out on a limb and say you have the wrong number haha

**[9:49pm] Wait... is this not Kian?**

[9:50pm] Nope sorry

**[9:52pm] Oh my god I am so sorry! I'm such a penis... I'll let you get back to your book and leave you alone forever**

[9:54pm] Haha it's okay, it happens to the best of us

**[9:58pm] Just out of interest where are you at?**

[9:59pm] Pardon?

**[10:00pm] In LotR, which book are you on?**

[10:01pm] Currently about halfway through Two Towels

[10:01pm] Sorry that was supposed to say 'Two Towers'

**[10:03pm] Lol was about to say, is this the new sequel? Bed, Bath and Boromir?**

[10:06pm] I nearly inhaled water laughing at that haha distinctlack of Boromir, he's kind of very dead

 **[10:10pm]** **I figure when you said you were about halfway through, you got to 'Mr Frodo... Sam... ' yet? I'm Envy by the way**

[10:11pm] Yeah they've just met Faramir, nice to meet you I'm Al

**Contact saved to phone**

**[10:13pm] I feel so sorry for Faramir – he gets over shadowed by his brother and has a mad dad**

[10:14pm] I was wondering why I identified with him so much haha

**[10:15pm] Same lol**

**[10:17pm] This is so surreal; having a conversation about LotR with someone I don't know after I opened with the words 'hey sexii wot u wearin' (which I greatly apologise for by the way)**

[10:19pm] Yes I noticed that your grammar had improved when you realised you were talking to someone else

 **[10:20pm]** **Yeah I kind of change my way of typing depending on who I'm talking to**

[10:21pm] Ah but you don't know who you're talking to

**[10:25pm] Well I know they're smart, have good taste in books and they're funny, I just don't know how old you are or whether you're a boy or a girl**

[10:26pm] Okay Professor Oak

[10:28pm] Or where I'm from, who my family are, what I look like or anything that isn't my name is Al and I like Lord of the Rings

**[10:31pm] Then what would you like to tell me?**

[10:32pm] I'm sorry what?

**[10:33pm] Tell me about yourself**

[10:38pm] You realise the conversation you would have been having if you had text the right number would have been far more interesting than talking to me

**[10:39pm] I highly doubt that – I had no plan after 'hey sexii wot u wearin' so it would have gone south very quickly**

[10:42pm] Okay fine: so my name is Al (short for Alphonse but people only call me that when they're annoyed), I'm 17, I live with my brother and my adopted father and I've recently come out of a six year coma

**[10:43pm] Say whaaaaaaaaat?!?**

[10:44pm] I thought I'd make it quick and tell you the interesting stuff

**[10:45pm] You were in a coma for sex years? What happened?**

[10:47pm] Drunk driver, Dad was killed instantly, Brother got really badly hurt and I ended up in a coma

**[10:48pm] What about your mum?**

[10:49pm] Died the year before

**[10:50pm] I'm sorry**

[10:51pm] Don't be, it's just something that happened... nothing I can do about it

[10:54pm] So what about you?

**[10:55pm] What do you mean?**

[10:56pm] Tell me about yourself

**[11:00pm] Not much to tell really... my name is Envy (I know, I have weird parents), I'm 19, my dad was drunk and my mum was a bitch so I left home as soon as I could and moved in with my aunt, I'm 6'1'', really skinny, I like coffee, dogs and really daft movies**

[11:01pm] Same age as my brother, sounds like we would get on really well

[11:03pm] Okay so this is going to sound really crazy but I want to know what you look like

[11:03pm] If that's okay?

Picture received. Download?

**[11:04pm] Sorry about the bed head**

[11:05pm] So how do I know that's you? That could be a picture you downloaded from the internet haha

**[11:06pm] You got Snapchat?**

[11:07pm] My brother downloaded it for me but I'm not sure how to use it... he keeps sending me pictures of disturbing things he finds on the internet

**[11:09pm] Okay my name is DeadlySin, add me**

**ArmouredAl has added you as a friend. Accept?**

Video received from DeadlySin – “Hi Al, I'm Envy”

[11:14pm] Okay so that is really you haha

**[11:15pm] Can I see you**

**Video received from ArmouredAl - “Hey sexy what are you wearing?”**

**[11:17pm] Wow...**

[11:18pm] Wow what?

**[11:20pm] Just wow...**

**[11:20pm] Not to sound like a creep or anything but you're stunning**

[11:21pm] Oh shut up

**[11:22pm] I'm not kidding, you are seriously stunning**

[11:24pm] Okay I'm just going to assume you have something wrong with your eyesight if you think so

**[11:25pm] Lol I'll have you know I have perfect 20:20**

[11:26pm] Sure you do...

**[11:27pm] I do lol I can even show you transcripts from my last eye test**

[11:29pm] Haha okay I believe you... about your eyesight at least

**[11:30pm] I'm serious, you are gorgeous... and I sound like a total creeper, I'm sorry I don't even know if you're attracted to guys or not**

[11:31pm] I'm attracted to you

[11:35pm] Hello?

[11:38pm] Envy?

**[11:41pm] I'm sorry I think I slipped into this weird little world where you said you were attracted to me**

[11:42pm] I did

**[11:45pm] And I'm now I'm pretty sure I've died and gone to heaven lol**

[11:47pm] Haha if you say so

**[11:48pm] I am so glad you didn't just see my victory dance there lol you may have changed your mind**

[11:49pm] You're funny

 **[11:50pm]** **I aim to please**

[11:52pm] Ah I really want to keep talking to you but it's like 10 to 12 and I have to be up early for a hospital appointment so I should at least try to get some sleep

**[11:53pm] Yeah you probably should... I probably should too, I have work tomorrow, how come you have to go to the hospital**

[11:54pm] Just routine stuff from the coma, nothing super exciting but I can let you know how it goes if you want?

**[11:55pm] If it's not too much trouble**

[11:56pm] No problem, will be nice to talk to you again

**[11:57pm] Good luck tomorrow, sleep well x**

[11:58pm] Night xx

Contact saved to phone

 

**[8:22pm] So how did it go today?**

[8:25pm] Hey sorry, I meant to text you earlier but Brother bombarded me with the same questions haha everything went fine, long and short of it I'm basically back to normal and shouldn't have to go back for anymore tests or anything

**[8:26pm] That's brilliant! I'm so happy for you! How was it at the hospital today? Were you in and out quite quickly**

[8:28pm] Unfortunately not, I was stuck there for most of the day because I kept having to wait, by the sounds of it they were hugely understaffed but I manage to finish Bed, Bath and Dead Boromir so every cloud

**[8:29pm] Well that's something lol you moving on to RTK**

[8:30pm] Surely that goes without saying haha

[8:32pm] How was your day?

**[8:33pm] Boring**

**[8:33pm] Work was empty as we had no customers but I found something fun to occupy my thoughts with**

[8:34pm] Oh yeah? And what was that?

**[8:35pm] A cute guy who likes LotR and my crappy jokes**

[8:36pm] He sounds fascinating I must meet him sometime haha

[8:37pm] And you have made exactly one crappy joke since we started talking so whether I like them or not remains to be seen

**[8:37pm] Tease**

[8:38pm] I certainly try

**[8:40pm] Are you flirting with me?**

[8:41pm] Of course I am

[8:42pm] You remember last night when I said that I was attracted to you?

**[8:44pm] I do, I still think my brain is trying to process it lol guess I'm just not used to things like this**

[8:45pm] You're not used to people telling you that they're attracted to you?

**[8:47pm] Not quite so openly like that, most people I know play loads of mind games and it's really boring after a while**

[8:50pm] And I'm not like that?

**[8:52pm] You're straightforward**

**[8:55pm] God, sorry that probably sounded awful, what I mean is you say what you want, you don't waste time fucking around with people's heads and it's nice... it's refreshing lol if that makes sense**

[8:56pm] Well I lost 6 years of my life so I don't really see the point in not being straightforward haha

**[8:57pm] You're amazing, has anyone ever told you that?**

[8:58pm] It's always nice to hear

**[9:03pm] Ok this is going to sound crazy seeing as I met you yesterday and I haven't really even met you properly lol but I like you... a lot and I want to get to know you and I'm sorry I'm rambling but I just haven't felt like this in... ever really lol**

[9:06pm] I like you too... a lot and I know what you mean about wanting to get to know you; you make me smile, you're funny, you're very easy on the eyes and I want to get to know you more because I really like you as well

[9:08pm] I'm sorry if that sounds really juvenile, like we're about 8 but I'm not really sure how else to put it

**[9:09pm] God I want to meet you, like have a proper face to face conversation with you and everything**

[9:10pm] You don't even know where I live! We could be on completely different sides of the world!

**[9:12pm] I live in Germany lol I know I must sound so crazy but I can't help it, I'm kind of a little bit crazy about you**

[9:14pm] I completely understand, I feel exactly the same, I just needed to voice the fact that this is crazy out loud if that makes sense haha I live in Germany too

**[9:15pm] Ok so same country, good start lol what part of Germany**

[9:16pm] On the outskirts of Düsseldorf, you?

**[9:18pm] Ok this is starting to get weird**

**[9:18pm] I'm from the outskirts of Düsseldorf too**

[9:22pm] I live in this place called Einbrungen

**[9:23pm] You're not on Einbrungen Street by any chance?**

[9:24pm] Yeah number 310 why?

[9:27pm] Hello? Envy?

**[9:28pm] Come to your bedroom window**

[9:29pm] Why?

**[9:30pm] I just want to see if I'm right about something**

 

_Al placed his phone on his bedside table and went over to the window. Having no idea what he was supposed to be looking at he was about to go back to his bedside table and ask Envy what on earth he was doing but a movement from the house next door caught his eye. He leaned closer to his window, squinting to get a better look through the neighbour's window. Standing there, in low slung pyjama pants and no t-shirt, was Envy. Al's eyes widened and all he could do for the moment was stare as Envy lifted his phone to his ear._

_A loud buzzing sounded from his bedside table and Al turned to see his phone vibrating. Knowing who it would be calling he practically ran over to pick it up. Surely enough Envy's name lit up the screen. He pressed the answer button and lifted the phone to his ear as he went back over to the window._

_“Hello,” he said. Through the window Envy grinned at him and sighed with relief, leaning against the window._

_“Thought I'd check it was you before I opened the window on a complete stranger,” he chuckled._

_“We're neighbours?” Al still couldn't quite get his head around the fact that the man he had been texting was actually his next door neighbour._

_“I really should pay more attention when people talk to me,” he said as he began fiddling with the latch on his window. “I'm sure Ed told me he had a brother who was in a coma when I first met him.”_

_“You know my brother?” Al asked._

_“Oh yeah,” Envy replied. “We used to hang out all the time when he first moved here before we both got jobs. I'm sure he'd be thrilled to know I tried to hit on his little brother with the words 'hey sexy what you wearing'.”_

_“He is very protective so I doubt he'd be too over the moon about it,” Al laughed._

_“And now I need to move,” Envy said grimacing._

_“Please don't.”_

_“Don't worry, I have no plans to go go anywhere,” he said. “Hang on one second...”_

_“What for?” Al asked. Envy didn't answer. The next thing Al heard was the dial tone signalling that Envy had ended the call. He furrowed his eyebrows as he watched Envy throw his phone behind him onto his bed and lift the bottom pane of his window up so that he could lean out of it onto the windowsill._

_Al tossed his phone onto his bed and opened his windows too, fumbling with the catch in his haste. He wanted to get them open as soon as possible so that he could properly talk to Envy. This was insane, he thought, he never made impulsive decisions like this but now that Envy was in front of him and he had spent ages talking to him and most of his time at the hospital thinking about him he decided it was time he made an impulsive decision. Once he had the windows open he leaned on the windowsill and smiled shyly over at Envy._

_“Hey...”_

 


End file.
